By JetBoy
One of my favorite places to go in Miami is the nude section of South Beach, which just so happens to be within walking distance of my apartment. I’ll bring an umbrella for shade, a bottle of water and some fruit, plus my laptop and schoolbooks. I like that particular beach because I enjoy being naked in the outdoors, but also because I won’t be harassed by unwanted company. You see, among those who hang out there are some very beautiful, very gay Brazilian body builders who know me, and if some jerky guy won’t take “no, thank you,” for an answer, one of my friends will be happy to give him a quick lesson in manners.
It was Saturday afternoon on Memorial Day weekend, an unusually gorgeous day for Miami for this time of year. I was sitting on the beach and reading when I noticed a young girl of maybe fourteen walking alone on the beach, dressed in shorts, t-shirt and a hat. She was looking around nervously and seemed to be unsure of herself.
I put my book down and walked over to where she stood, giving her a friendly smile. “Hi there. Is everything okay?”
Startled, she flinched, her hand flying to her mouth. “Oh my gosh, you’re naked!” she blurted. “A-and you have hair down there.”
I couldn’t help but giggle. “Well, yeah, this is a nude beach, y’know… and I don’t shave my pubes. What brings you here, sweetie?”
She got embarrassed all of a sudden, looking away from me. “Oh… I heard that this was where, um, people could take their clothes off if they wanted to… and I kinda thought I’d come down and, y’know, see what it was like!” Giving me a shy glance, she continued. “I’m sorry if I was rude when I saw you just now. I don’t know why I acted like that… guess you sort of, um, caught me by surprise.”
“It’s okay,” I replied, placing a reassuring hand on her arm. “And you weren’t being rude – unless you jumped like that ’cause you thought I looked ugly with my clothes off.” I did a slow, casual stretch, flexing my body in a way that always drives guys nuts. “You don’t think I’m ugly… do you?” Damn, was I actually flirting with this underage girl?
“Gosh, no!” she quickly replied. “You – you’re b-beautiful!”
She had a wonderfully healthy, innocent girl-next-door quality to her that reminded me of nothing so much as a younger, much more innocent version of myself: dirty blonde hair that she wore in a ponytail, blue eyes, small breasts and slim hips.
She stirred something inside me that I didn’t understand at first. Something deep.
My attraction to her was so sudden and intense that it alarmed me. I’d been sexually intimate with females before, usually with other guys involved, but never before had I experienced desire for a girl as young as this.
It was totally crazy for me to be acting all sexy around her, but somehow, I found myself unable to resist – especially when I noticed the way she was checking me out.
I didn’t say anything, just waited for her eyes to drift back up to mine. When they did, she blushed again, embarrassed that I’d caught her staring at my body.
“So,” I purred, arching an eyebrow, “did you just come down to see the sights, or what?”
Nibbling at her lower lip, she hesitated, then leaned close to whisper, “The thing is… I’ve never been naked in public before but I, um, kinda wanted to try it. I mean, I think I’d enjoy it but I’m like, you know, totally nervous. Um, do guys get all up in your face?”
“They stare some,” I shrugged. “It’s no big deal, though. You get used to it.”
“I guess that’s okay. I just don’t want them, y’know, hitting on me.” She glanced nervously at my Brazilian friends, who were casually kicking a soccer ball around.
“You’re safe from that if you hang out here,” I told her. “Those guys are all gay, and they’re totally cool. If anyone hassles me, or even tries to, they chase ’em off.” I gave the girl a big, friendly smile. “Tell you what – why don’t you stick with me today? Been studying all morning… I could use some company.”
Her face lit up like a neon sign. “Wow, thanks! That’s so nice of you!”
I grinned. “Hey, us naked girls gotta stick together. You can get undressed and sit with me, right over there.” I stuck my hand out. “My name’s Chandra. What’s yours?”
And just like that, her nervousness was completely gone, the most angelic smile spreading across her face. “I’m Ariel. Nice to meet you, Chandra.”
She extended her hand and when I took it, I didn’t want to let go. So I didn’t – and hand in hand, we walked the few feet back to where I was set up.
I gave her a curious glance. “So, tell me, Ariel… why are you here all by yourself?”
“Oh, I couldn’t get any of my friends to come along, so it’s just me.” She spied my textbooks, piled next to my towel. “Looks like you’re doing homework. Are you a student?”
“Set your towel down next to mine… there you go. Yeah, I’m in summer school right now, and I’ll be a junior this fall at UM.”
“Oh cool. What are you studying?”
I gave her a knowing smile, folding my arms. “Ariel…?”
“Hmm?”
“It’s time.” I smiled and nodded in her direction.
“Time for…? Oh, right. My clothes. Um.” She glanced around, her nervousness returned.
I shook my head. “Don’t be afraid, girl. Go for it – you’ll be fine, I promise. Here. I’ll help you.”
Gazing warmly into those flawless blue eyes, I gently grasped her t-shirt from the bottom and pulled it over her head. Ariel wasn’t wearing a bra, although she hardly needed one. She had small, perfectly round, perfectly beautiful breasts, and I felt a warmth that didn’t come from the sun when I thought about how nice it would be to touch them. Then I began undoing her shorts, but quickly realized that maybe I shouldn’t be undressing her. With a shaky smile, I stepped back and let her finish.
Stepping out of her shorts, Ariel took hold of the waistband of her pink bikini panties, then gave me a hesitant look. I nodded my approval, and Ariel took a deep breath before tugging her panties down and daintily stepping from them.
She was lithe and elegant, with the figure of a dancer. I thought her mound was bare at first, but then I saw that she had a blond triangle of golden down so light that it was almost invisible. Now completely nude, she put her things at one end of my towel, then looked around. When she saw that no one was ogling her, she relaxed with a contented sigh.
Ariel had forgotten to bring sunblock, so I took out mine. Watching her apply the cool, creamy lotion to that exquisite body made me ache to assist. I settled for offering to put some on her bare back, which I loved doing – my coated fingers traveling down to the top of her pert little bottom.
I was utterly smitten by her.
I put away my book and my laptop, and we talked for a long while, taking a break at one point to splash naked in the sea, giggling and cavorting like the schoolgirls we were. At one point a couple of pale-skinned guys who must have been tourists made as if to come over to where we sat, but a couple of my Brazilian friends put a stop to that in a hurry. Thanks, fellas.
I got Ariel to tell me all about herself. She was fourteen and in ninth grade, totally loved science and wanted to be a biologist one day. She had pretty cool parents and lived with them in a nice house in the suburbs.
We talked about being naked, about school, music, movies, boys, sex, parents and anything else that took our fancy. At one point I asked Ariel why she’d been so surprised by my pubic hair when she first saw me.
She blushed so adorably, replying, “Well, all the girls I know shave down there, and so does my mom… I’ve never even seen hair on a woman’s, um, pussy before. I think yours looks totally sexy, though – maybe I won’t shave mine, either!” Spreading her thighs, she peered down at her own vulva. “What do you think, Chandra? Should I let it grow?”
It was all I could do to keep the arousal I felt right then from coloring my voice. “Oh, you’ll look hot either way, sweetie… but I do think that a woman’s pubic hair is sexy as hell.”
She giggled when I said that, and that made her look so adorable that I ached to take her in my arms and kiss that laughing mouth.
I’d never believed in love at first sight, but Ariel had me thinking differently. In fact, the hunger I felt for her affected me so much that I must have stopped thinking clearly. Why else would I have given in to temptation by saying what I did?
“Say, Ariel… Y’know, I live near here, in a high rise just a few blocks away. Like to see my apartment?”
She was delighted. “You have your own place? Cool. Sure!”
We got dressed, gathered up our things and set off. As we left the beach, Ariel and I waved goodbye to my body-builder chums. Just before we turned away, Jorge give me a wink that told me he knew exactly what I was up to, and I felt my face get really hot. Luckily, Ariel didn’t notice.
She and I chatted freely all the way to my place, and I found myself more enchanted with her by the minute. Not only was Ariel lovely, she was also incredibly sweet and smart as a whip.
Once in my apartment, I got us both glasses of orange juice, then gave Ariel the grand tour of the place. It’s not very big or luxurious, but she seemed impressed.
I had one regret about leaving the beach: now, we both had our clothes on. Thinking about it, I suddenly had an awesome idea!
“You know, Ariel,” I casually said, “I’m lots more comfortable naked, and I bet you are too. Why don’t we get undressed again… you know, before we hang out?”
If I’d had my wits about me, there’s no way I would even have suggested such a thing to a girl her age. What can I say? I was blinded by desire.
I wasn’t sure how she’d respond, but Ariel liked the idea, so we took off our clothes. I was tempted to ask if she’d let me undress her this time, but decided not to push it.
Once again, I drank in the wondrous sight of this golden nymph’s bare body. When Ariel sat down on the couch, drawing her knees up to her chest, that delicate sex fully exposed to my gaze… well, that was when I knew I had to have her, right or wrong. I’d never wanted anyone so intensely.
I put on a CD of funky New Orleans soul and began to move around to the music, finally breaking into a dance. With a joyful laugh Ariel jumped to her feet, already swaying to the rhythm. Her budding breasts looked positively luscious as they jiggled to her movements.
We strutted and shimmied around the room to the music, huge grins on our faces. The first track on the CD was one I knew well, called “Pass the Hatchet,” and I did a lewd dance to its hard, sexy beat. Turning away from Ariel, I bent down low and ground my hips, giving her a good look at my pussy and ass and praying she liked what she saw.
We continued to dance through the next few songs; then, as one track faded, Ariel made a “time out” gesture with her hands, then fell back into the couch. “Whew!” she gasped, fanning herself with one hand, “that was… so cool!”
While catching my breath I changed the music, putting on a CD of Bill Evans playing soft piano jazz before sitting down next to Ariel. By now, the day was drawing to its end, the room lit by the rich hues of the sunset.
“You’re a pretty good dancer, kiddo,” I told Ariel, lightly touching her thigh.
“Aw, I’m nowhere near as good as you!” she replied, blushing. “You move so… so sexy!”
I smiled at that. “Oh, I think you’re pretty sexy yourself.” Reaching for her hand, I drew my blonde angel to her feet. “C’mon, let’s watch the sun go down. It’s really something to see from up here.”
Hand in hand we walked to the sliding doors of the balcony and stepped out into the dimming day. Ariel and I leaned on the rail and watched the colors of the evening, all shades of red and orange mixed with the sky’s blue.
Ariel turned to me, touching my arm. “Chandra,” she timidly said, “I – I really like you…”
How could I have stopped myself from doing what I did then? Cupping her face in my hands, I gazed into the deep blue of her eyes, so in love at that moment that I seemed to glow like the disappearing sun. “Oh, Ariel… I like you too.”
I kissed her.
She stiffened a little bit as I pressed my lips against hers – and for a heartbeat or two, it seemed as if she was about to tear herself away from me. But then Ariel suddenly relaxed, opening up to me like a spring flower, two silken arms sliding around my waist.
Throwing all caution to the winds, I deepened the kiss; lips parting, allowing the tip of my tongue to graze Ariel’s mouth. She gave a tiny squeak of surprise, then began kissing me back.
God, her mouth was so soft and sweet that it made my head spin. I was completely sober, having had nothing all day long but water and fruit juice, but right then I felt positively drunk on this scrumptious girl of fourteen. My good sense had deserted me completely; all I saw was her.
I’d intended to take things slowly with Ariel, not rush her into anything. But the way she pressed her body against mine, the pounding of her heart, the eagerness in her kisses – no doubt about it, this girl wanted to know the ways of lesbian love.
Gently breaking away, I gave the trembling blonde teen a warm smile. “You’re beautiful,” I whispered, tracing her panting mouth with a fingertip while my other hand slipped down to caress her bare bottom.
Ariel gaped at me with enormous eyes, whispering “Oh, Chandra,” as she saw and understood what I craved. And then she gave me a tiny nod, smiling shyly as if to say that she wanted the same thing.
I reached for her hand, giving it a tender squeeze, then led Ariel back into the apartment and to my bedroom. She willingly allowed me to guide her to the bed and gently lay her down, giving me a look of adoration and perfect trust. If she’d shown even a hint of hesitation, perhaps that might have been enough to restore my sanity – but right then, this child of fourteen only wanted to be loved.
Kneeling above Ariel, I bent to nuzzle her neck, pressing my lips into the hollow of her throat in a open-mouthed kiss. With a low moan she wrapped both arms around my back, hugging me tightly, drawing me down to her.
Thrilled by my new lover’s passion, I kissed a pathway between her flawless breasts, then allowed my lips to slowly glide over one of them, extending my tongue to swipe at a nipple.
“Oh!” she gasped, clutching my head to her chest with trembling hands. “Oh, gosh.”
I placed one, two, three soft kisses upon the swollen pink bud, then took it between my lips to suckle. Touching her other breast, I could feel the frantic thrumming of Ariel’s heart – and the swelling of her nipple against my palm.
“Ooooh!” she cried, arching her body as if to feed more of her breast into my mouth.
I responded by trailing my fingers down to Ariel’s belly and between those lovely legs, lightly grazing her dewy slit. She was obviously aroused, but even then I was astonished by how wet she was. A shiver raced through her when I began to explore her sex.
“Ohmigosh,” she moaned. “I didn’t – didn’t know… Oooooh, Chandra, you m-make me feel s-so good.”
Raising my face from her breasts, I claimed Ariel’s parted lips with mine, kissing her more forcefully. She responded with a passion that thrilled me, thrusting her tongue deep into my mouth.
Ariel’s excitement was so intense that she was trembling all over. It struck me that I needed to bring her off quickly, so we could get into the more relaxed lovemaking I wanted us to share. So I sought out the tiny pearl of her clitoris with my fingers, gently teasing it with feather-light strokes.
She threw her head back, a wild cry escaping her lips as she broke away from our kiss. Her eyes widened in astonishment, then squeezed tightly shut when she began to come, shivering violently from head to toe, her mouth gaping in disbelief.
“Chandra!” she cried. That was the last distinct word Ariel spoke for the next minute or so. Instead she moaned and wailed as I kept rubbing her clit, my busy fingers driving her ecstasy higher and higher. Her voice rose to a tiny shriek, then she squeezed her thighs together, panting “Oh, oh God, no more – I c-c-can’t breathe!”
I withdrew my hand from between my new lover’s legs, bringing the wet fingers to my lips to taste. Mmmm, my favorite kind of candy. Her pussy was strong and sweet; just the flavor a young girl ought to have. Sugar and spice and all things nice, I thought, and that made me giggle.
Ariel’s eyes fluttered open, and she smiled bashfully. “Wow,” she said. “That was… wow!”
I wish that I could paint a picture in words, one that would show how beautiful Ariel was in the aftermath of orgasm. The temptation to tell her that I loved her nearly had me saying as much, right then and there… instead, I placed a hand on her belly, gently stroking it as if she were a kitten. “I guess you liked that, huh? Haven’t you ever had an orgasm before?”
Her cheeks flushed an even brighter pink. “Well, yeah… but just from, y’know, touching myself down there. It’s n-never been like that before. I mean, I felt it right down to my toes!” She raised herself onto an elbow, giving me a longing look. “Chandra?”
“What, sweetie?”
“Um… can I do stuff to you, now?”
I reached for her, enfolding my sweet Ariel in a warm embrace. “Of course you can,” I whispered, allowing my lips to brush her cheek. “Only I don’t want you to ‘do stuff’ to me… what I’d like is to be made love to.” And I traced the edge of Ariel’s ear with the tip of my tongue, making her shiver.
She turned to me, her soft mouth seeking mine, kissing me with a boldness that stole my breath away. I rolled onto my back, and Ariel followed, crawling on top of me, fondling my breasts.
It was a dream come true, letting Ariel have her way with me. She might have lacked experience, but she was intuitive and willing to learn. And I encouraged her along the way – telling my little lover what to do when she was unsure, letting her know when it felt good, gently touching her body in response.
She was like a child with a wonderful new toy, happily examining and exploring her prize. Kissing her was utter bliss – and she felt the same way, returning to feed on my mouth again and again. Then I cradled her like a child as she suckled my breasts.
Eventually, her hand crept between my thighs, shyly exploring the rise of my vulva. “You’re so wet,” she breathed, then I gasped in mixed surprise and pleasure as her finger slipped into me.
“Mmmmyes, baby. Fuck me,” I moaned. She obliged, carefully at first; then I had her put another finger in, telling her, “You can go faster… and deeper. Don’t be afraid, you won’t hurt me.”
Then I showed Ariel how to roll her fingers around inside my vagina while working my clit with her thumb – and soon I was bucking and rocking crazily, making the headboard squeak as I came.
I was winded, panting for breath; but when she sat up to examine her sticky fingers, then licked at them to sample my juices – well, seeing that got my motor pulsing all over again, especially when she grinned, “Mmmm… I like how you taste!”
Reaching out to take her hand, I gave it a tug – and she toppled over, right into my arms. Our mouths met, and we kissed for awhile until my heartbeat became steady once more.
Ravenous for more of Ariel, I suddenly rolled the laughing girl onto her back. She squealed, her face like something from a cartoon for an instant – then my angel relaxed, gazing at at me with the most adoring eyes.
I dipped my head to leave a feather-light kiss on her neck. She sighed blissfully, hugging me close. Breathing in the perfume of my new lover’s skin, I nuzzled her throat, the underside of her chin, her elegant jawline; then nibbled at her earlobe.
Ariel was quivering beneath me, her heart beating hard and fast – and I knew that her desire was growing sharp once more.
Saying a brief goodbye to her ear with a playful bite, I began to nuzzle my way down Ariel’s body, pausing to leave an open-mouthed kiss upon each of her taut nipples. I descended to her belly, loving this flawless girl with my mouth and tongue along the way.
Her navel was adorable, a cute dimple that demanded attention. I kissed it like a tiny mouth, my tongue darting playfully inside. She gasped, then moaned, “Oh, Chandra – what’re you d-doing to me?”
Rather than answer with words, I lightly cupped Ariel’s vulva. It felt warm and alive beneath my hand, adorned with soft down – like a newborn kitten, I thought, smiling to myself. Then my fingers sought out the moist center, opening her, carefully slipping inside.
“I love you!” she gasped, arching her hips against my hand. “Oh God, I love you…”
I could have fingered her to another climax right then, but my mouth was watering for Ariel’s pussy. So I continued down her body, leaving a teasing kiss on her mound as I positioned myself between those slender thighs.
And there I was, lying on my belly, getting the first up-close look at my new lover’s cunt. I had gone down on my share of women before, but had never pleasured a girl as fresh and young as this. I’d already smelled Ariel’s essence on my fingers and loved it, but now I was breathing in the scent of her right from the source – a heady perfume that made my head spin.
Closing my eyes, I moved in to place a single kiss upon that pretty pink slit.
“Mmmmmnnnyes!” she blurted. “Oh, Chandra, don’t stop, please don’t stop!”
How could I disappoint her? Clutching Ariel’s thighs, I burrowed deeper between them, taking her cunt into my mouth. Her honey was beginning to flow, and I greedily slurped it down.
Ariel squirmed beneath me, staring sightlessly at the ceiling, cupping her slight breasts. “G-gosh,” she moaned, “that feels s-s-so oh, so good, Chandra. So good!” Her voice rose sharply on the last word, and I could tell that she was very close to coming.
So I used my fingers to spread her sex open, exposing the jewel of her clit. Trailing my tongue upward through the sweet rosy flesh, I lightly licked at the tiny nubbin a few times – a jolt coursing through Ariel’s body with each flick – then took it between my lips to suckle.
A choked cry exploded from Ariel’s throat, and she began to thrash about, hands scrabbling at the sheets. Oh, God,” she panted, “oh, God, oh G-god, ohgod, ohgodohgod OH! CHANDRA!”
I continued to strum Ariel’s clit with my tongue while gently squeezing it between the lips. I’d been taught that little trick by my first female lover, a friend of my mom’s who had enticed me into bed one night after she’d hired me to help out at a dinner party. It almost never failed to drive women wild – and right then, my fourteen-year-old partner was on the verge of a complete meltdown.
Finally, I knew she could take no more, so I withdrew, leaving gentle kisses on Ariel’s thighs as she caught her breath. Before long, I felt her tug at my shoulder.
“C-can you hold me?” she whispered.
I crawled up and into Ariel’s waiting arms, and she hugged me close. I heard her sniffle, then gulp; and to my sudden horror, saw that she was crying.
“Baby?” I whispered, my heart suddenly racing. “Wh-what’s wrong?”
“Oh, Chandra,” she sobbed, “that was s-so beautiful… no one’s ever made me f-feel like that!” She drew back, gazing at me with tear-filled eyes. “I – I love you.”
A wave of emotion washed over me as I gaped at this adorable girl, feeling my heart go out to her. “I love you too, Ariel,” I whispered, shocked at the realization that I was speaking God’s own truth.
I’d never told anyone I loved them before – at least, not since my parents, back when things were still good between us. But what I felt for Ariel at that moment was like having the sun inside me, warming my soul. It was beautiful, and a little scary. I mean, she was still just a kid!
Ariel didn’t give me much time to sort out this tangle of emotions, though. Before I could say another word her mouth was on mine, she had me in an impassioned clutch and giving me a clumsy French kiss that had my head spinning. My shy little lover was eager to return the pleasures she’d just experienced – maybe a little too eager.
“Ariel… Ariel!” I gently admonished as I broke our kiss, putting my fingers to her lips. “Relax, sweetheart. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Mmm, yeah – s-sorry,” she replied sheepishly, her cheeks a rosy pink. “But I’m just so, so, so excited! Oh, Chandra, I want to do everything with you… all the stuff you showed me.”
“Oh, I’m cool with that!” I grinned, lying back with both arms behind my head. “Don’t rush it, though. Be gentle at first… then, when you want to get all wild, it’s even better.”
“Okay,” she nodded. “That kinda makes sense.”
I gave Ariel my best come-hither look. “In that case… I’m ready.”
Soon we were kissing again, Ariel’s mouth soft as a whisper, her tongue engaging mine. Then she began to nuzzle a path down my body, and I gave myself up to her, completely.
My impressions of that time, of being made love to by this curious girl of fourteen – they remain fleeting, scattered. I was there in the moment, lost to all else. Ariel’s hands, fingers and mouth took me someplace I’d never been before.
Oh, she was new to this dance of passion, still a little clumsy and uncertain. But each caress, every touch, glowed so strongly with the warmth of affection that her lovemaking was transformed into something truly beautiful. Like a poem.
She lingered for a long while on my breasts, I remember that. My nipples seemed to delight her, and she explored many different ways of teasing them – with fingers, lips, tongue, even teeth.
I recall how Ariel pressed her face into my tummy, whispering “So soft,” adorning me with dozens of tender kisses.
Then there was the moment when she lay between my trembling thighs, her breath warm against the wet heat of me. She hesitated for a few heartbeats – was she gazing in awe, relishing her first close-up glimpse of a woman’s pussy? Or was she breathing in the scent of my excitement? I never knew… because when her tongue emerged to take that first lick, I was lost to all but pleasure.
She was a novice, of course. But at the same time she ate my pussy with such tenderness, such affection, that I felt bathed in love. First there was licking, then light kissing – then deep, hungry kisses, lips parting; her warm, wet tongue entering me. I’ve fucked my share of women and men, but have never been adored like that by a lover – before or since.
Suddenly I was coming hard, each new breath hissing through clenched teeth, cradling Ariel’s head in both hands while she continued to love me with her mouth. Before the first orgasm had faded, she began to suckle at my clit; I barely had time to gasp before another climax kicked in.
The next thing I remember is Ariel lying in my arms, covering my face with gentle kisses.
“Um… did you like that okay?” she asked, an anxious look on her face.
I was so giddy right then that I couldn’t help but laugh. She was puzzled at first, but burst into giggles when I grabbed her in a big tiger hug, rocking us both to and fro.
When I released her, I cupped Ariel’s face in both hands. “It was way better than ‘okay’, sweetie… you were fucking incredible!” And with that, I planted a brief but emphatic kiss right on her lips.
She grinned hugely, thrusting a fist upward in a gesture of victory. “All right!”
By then the room was pretty dark except for the lamp on my nightstand. I glanced at my alarm clock – 7:51 PM. “Uh, Ariel… I hate to bring this up, but what time are you supposed to be home? It’s nearly eight.”
“Oh… crap.” Ariel set her mouth in an adorable pout. “My parents are pretty cool, I won’t get in any big trouble… but I do kinda hafta get going.” She gave a wistful sigh. “Wish I could spend the night.”
“I wish you could too, sweetie, but…” I was smiling, but when Ariel mentioned her parents, I began to feel a little weird about what I’d just done – made love to an underage girl.
We got up and wandered out to the living room, where Ariel and I gathered up our scattered clothes and quickly dressed. No time to shower off, so Ariel washed her face and hands in the bathroom sink.
I didn’t have a car, so I couldn’t give Ariel a ride home, but she told me it didn’t matter – she’d could just catch the South Beach Local, which covers the whole area and only costs a quarter to ride. There was a bus stop a couple of blocks away, and of course I offered to accompany her there.
She wanted to kiss some more before we left the apartment, so we did. I was really getting mixed up inside, though – kissing Ariel got me all warm and fluttery in my tummy, but at the same time, that uncomfortable feeling was getting stronger.
We set off for the bus stop. She was incredibly chatty and animated, while my mood was subdued. Now that the heat of my lust was spent, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I’d done something very wrong. I had to keep those thoughts at arm’s length, though, while I was with Ariel – it wouldn’t do to spoil the moment for her. We made plans to meet for breakfast the next morning.
The bus was just a couple of blocks away when we reached the stop, so there was only time for a quick goodbye. We hugged and shared a brief kiss, and then the bus was pulling away, Ariel racing to the back and waving at me through the window. I waved back, then stood there until she was gone from sight.
My walk back home was a troubled one, feelings of guilt growing with every step I took. What have you done? I admonished myself. You seduced a fourteen-year-old. Practically a kid, damn it!
I tried to argue with myself. She wanted to, she was ready! And she loved it.
That’s a bullshit excuse, my conscience fired back. Ariel’s still a child, too young to know what she wants. If you let yourself off the hook for this, then what about your parents, what they did to you? After tonight, are you any fucking better than they are?
I gritted my teeth. That particular arrow had landed a direct bulls-eye.
Years after the fact, I still harbored feelings of bitterness about the sex games my mother and father had drawn me into at the tender age of twelve. They never touched me, just had me take my clothes off and watch them fuck. My parents had this weird thing about looking at my little girl parts while they fucked and fondled each other, and their excitement got me excited too. So I got drawn even deeper into Mom and Dad’s love lives.
The problem was that the sex started to crowd out the parent and child part of our relationship. However much I liked the hot, steamy antics we got up to behind closed doors, I was still a kid who needed her mommy and daddy. But at the same time, I was starting to want to break the No Touching rule, to join my parents on the bed and play grownup games.
It was a lot to grapple with, for a girl who hadn’t even had her first period yet.
Then one day Mom came home and caught Dad breaking the rule for the first time, licking my pussy. I was naked from the waist down and lying back on my bed, legs on the floor and my father on his knees in between. She raced into the room, screaming her head off, just when I was about to come.
Dad tried to bluff his way out of it, but he was stone cold busted – and Mom was pretty pissed at me, too. Right then and there, she pulled the plug on our sex play, forever. She yelled that since neither of us could be trusted to live by the rules, we couldn’t have the game any more. Period, paragraph, end of story.
So there I was, a child who’d been given a taste of sex and loved it, suddenly cut off. What made it even worse was that I didn’t really get my parents back, at least not like before. There was a distance between us, one that hadn’t been there even a few weeks earlier. Mom and Dad felt ashamed of what they’d done, and without even intending to, they were taking their guilt out on me. They were just going through the motions of parenthood now, and I felt the wrongness of it, not knowing how to fix things. Before long, I found myself despising them both, realizing for the first time just how badly I’d been used.
I began to act out, to get in trouble in school. I’d been a model student, never a problem to my teachers, but that changed overnight. I constantly talked back, insulted every adult who spoke to me and encouraged rotten behavior among the other kids.
My parents started getting alarmed phone calls from the principal, but what could they do? Mommy and Daddy knew perfectly well what was the matter with me, why I’d turned bad.
I got myself kicked out of school, so my parents basically washed their hands of me, shipping me off to a boarding school for what they called “troubled youth.” But not before I gave up my virginity to a sixteen-year-old boy, though – and I made sure that Mom and Dad knew about that, too.
After I did my time, I was sent to live with my grandmother in Kentucky, where I mostly behaved myself. I stayed with her until starting college, only seeing my mother and father on an occasional holiday. That was always an awkward experience; the three of us pretending everything was just peachy, like we were actors playing parts in some boring TV show.
At nineteen, I lived on my own and had nothing to do with my parents. Oh, they still made the occasional gesture of repentance, but I wasn’t ready to forgive and forget. Luckily, my grandmother had left me a generous trust fund to pay for my education, and I was using it to get through college without any financial help from Mom and Dad.
I resented my parents for initiating sexual activity with the twelve-year-old I’d been. Now here I was, on the verge of getting romantically involved with a girl of fourteen. I’d had full-blown lesbian sex with Ariel; even told her that I loved her! Jesus, I did love her, too – just thinking about that sweet smile and those warm blue eyes made me tremble inside.
Once I made it back to the apartment, it was a restless night for me. I spent it pacing from kitchen to living room to bedroom, then did it in reverse for awhile, asking myself: What now?
Then the fear kicked in. What would happen to me if Ariel told someone about what we did, and it got back to her parents, or one of her teachers?
A wave of nausea surged through me as the possible consequences of my actions sank in. I saw myself led away in handcuffs, pictured Ariel’s parents glaring at me with hate-filled eyes, saw my name and picture in the paper and on the news, heard the word pedophile hissing in my ears.
God, if this got out… my life would be over. Even if I didn’t get hauled into court, I would surely be thrown out of college, disowned by every friend I had. I’d have no option left but to go crawling back to Mom and Dad, ask them to take me in. The very prospect filled me with horror.
Somehow I managed to calm myself. Ariel was a smart girl; surely she wouldn’t go babbling about our lovemaking to just anyone. Still, there was no getting around it what we’d done was wrong. Ariel was still a child, practically. No good could come of our being lovers.
I knew what I had to do, and that it was the right thing for both of us. Still, the possibility of hurting such a sweet girl made me cringe inside. I’d have to be gentle, explain that while we couldn’t be sexually intimate, I very much wanted to keep her as a friend.
The next morning, we met on Lincoln Road for breakfast. God, she was beautiful. We hugged, then shared a brief kiss. She giggled as she playfully grabbed my ass, then glanced around to see if anyone had noticed. Her hand slipped into mine as we walked down the block toward the café.
I couldn’t wait until after we ate; this had to be dealt with now. “Ariel?”
“Mmm-hmm?”
“I have to talk to you, sweetie.”
I sat her down on the front stoop of an old apartment building and began to unburden my heart.
When I was done, there were tears in her eyes, and I was fighting back my own.
“It’s not fair,” she whispered. “Can’t we go back to your place and make love again? Please, Chandra. Please?”
“Ariel, we can’t,” I pleaded. “You’re too young. It’s wrong… and it’s a huge risk for us both.”
She glared at me. “You didn’t care about that yesterday!” she fired back. “Why’s it such a big fat deal now?”
I was panicky, terrified. This wasn’t going well. “I – I wasn’t thinking… I didn’t mean to –”
“You’re lying!” she cried, her eyes smoldering with anger. “Y-you just wanted to – to do stuff with me. All those things you s-said, it was made up. You don’t care, not even a little bit!” She was crying now.
I felt like I was on the verge of fainting, barely able to breathe. “Ariel, please,” I begged, “G-give me a chance to explain!”
“NO!” she snapped, leaping to her feet, fists clenched. “I won’t listen! You wanna g-get rid of me, that’s all. Fine, then! I’m gone!”
Desperate, I reached out and seized Ariel’s hand before she could dart away, trying to say something, anything to stop her. But all my mouth could come out with was “No, please no, Ariel –”
“Don’t touch me!” she shrieked, violently wrenching her hand free. “Fuck you, Chandra! Fucking bitch. I hate you. I hate you!” With that, she spun around and stumbled away, weeping piteously.
I was shaking from head to toe, a cold knot of pain tightening in my gut. Then I saw a city bus, coming to a halt at a nearby stop, Ariel running to catch it.
Paralyzed at first, all I could do was stare, a roaring in my ears as if the sea was trapped in my head, watching Ariel board. Walking out of my life. The bus door swung shut.
Then I was dashing headlong down the street, gasping, “No, no, no, no, no!” as the bus lazily drew away from the curb and nosed its way into the flow of traffic, then picked up speed as it moved on.
I reached the stop, but too late. “ARIEL!” I screamed, making one last-ditch, desperate attempt to keep her from fleeing. To this day, I still don’t know if she heard me.
People stopped, stared, then turned away. Nothing to see here, folks; just another emotional drama in the big city.
All I could do was watch the bus grow smaller and smaller, then finally vanish, swallowed up in traffic.
I slowly made my way back to the apartment – numb with shock, my head an abyss. God knows what I would have done or said if I’d run into anyone I knew.
As I trudged through the streets, I realized how truly lost Ariel was to me. I had no phone number, no email address. Her last name was a common one; there were probably thousands in the Miami phone directory.
I plumbed my memory for personal details. Had she mentioned what high school she attended? The street where she lived? I couldn’t recall. I’d been too dazzled by Ariel’s beauty and my attraction to her.
Finally I made it through the door of my apartment. I shut the door behind me, then sank to the floor, tears flowing freely. I lay right there for at least two hours, sobbing my heart out, torn between self-pity and self-loathing.
After awhile I struggled to my feet with stiff limbs, a pounding headache, and the imprint of the carpet on my left cheek. Shambling into the bathroom, I washed my face, then crawled into bed, burying myself beneath the sheets.
When I awakened, night had fallen. I rose, still dressed in the clothes I’d put on that morning, and wandered into the kitchen just long enough to snag a fifth of Grey Goose I had in the freezer. Then I curled up on the sofa, wrapped in my afghan, and proceeded to get hammered on slugs of straight vodka, occasionally pausing to cry again. Finally, I passed out.
Monday morning found me, ugly hangover and all, back at South Beach. Hardly anyone was there, including my bodybuilding friends, but I wasn’t there to socialize – I was clutching desperately at the off-chance that Ariel might turn up, looking for me. I’m sure I looked a perfect fool, hanging out on a nude beach with all my clothes on, but I had a class at 11:30. Anyhow, I waited as long as I was able, trying and failing to study, but she never came.
*****
Three years have passed since that incredible day with Ariel – and not a day has gone by since where I haven’t thought of her. The shame I feel for hurting that gentle, beautiful girl still lingers, no matter that I tried my best to keep that very thing from happening. I’ve had other lovers since then, both male and female, but never for more than a night or two. My longing for her still burns brightly.
I’ve always been a person with huge ambitions, eager to take on the world and make it mine. Deep down inside, though, one secret desire holds sway over all the rest: that one day, my angel Ariel will walk into my life again, and I’ll get a second chance to love her — this time, for always.
“Mommy?” fourteen-year-old Becky called as she entered the house; dropping her school satchel to the floor with a thud, then kicking off her shoes.
My name is Connie. I am a single mother with a fourteen-year-old daughter named Becky.