By Girl Lover
Jennie woke up Monday morning to find Kala’s side of the bed empty. She threw back the covers, then using her good arm pushed herself up to a sitting position. The moment her feet hit the floor she felt a sudden urge to pee, so she plodded along to the bathroom. As she peed, she thought about how she was becoming used to living here with Kala. It was so much nicer than her old house. She flushed the toilet, then walked into the living room to look for Kala.
She didn’t see the woman anywhere, but there was a lot of stuff piled on the table. Going over to it, she saw folded clothes, some bags, a few small boxes, and two guns. She recognized the pistols from the many guns she’d seen at her parents’ house. Opening one of the boxes, she found several short, gold-colored cylinders, a little thicker than the thickness of a pencil. She pulled out one of the gold cylinders and looked at it curiously.
At that moment, Kala walked in from the garage, freezing the instant she spotted Jennie, “Put that down!”
Jennie set the object down on the table, noticing Kala’s voice wasn’t her usual friendly tone, “What is it?”
“Nothing.”
Kala walked over and picked it up, putting it back in its slot with the other 9mm bullets, then closing the box. “Do not touch any of this,” she said, more sternly than she’d intended, before turning away and going into the kitchen.
Jennie moved away from the table, a worried look on her face.
“What do you want for breakfast?” Kala’s voice rang out from the kitchen.
Jennie didn’t answer. It seemed like Kala was upset with her, but she didn’t understand why.
“Jennie?” Kala stepped back into the living room. Seeing the worried look on the girl’s face, she came over and knelt by her, “Jen…?”
“Are you mad at me?” The child’s voice came out in a whisper.
“No, no, I’m not,” Kala hugged her. “It’s just… I’m a little distracted and I took it out on you. I’m sorry.”
Jennie glanced at the table.
“Y’know how I told you we were going to be leaving?”
Jennie nodded.
“Well… we’re leaving tomorrow.”
“I’m going too?”
“Yes. I’m taking you with me.”
“Where are we going?”
“Abilene.”
Jennie’s face was blank.
“It’s about three and a half hours northwest of here. We’re leaving tomorrow morning and will get there around lunchtime.”
“Why are we going there?”
“Remember my family, the Burning Angels?”
“Yeah…”
“Well, we’re going to stay with them for a while.”
“Are Bonnie and Raven coming?”
“Raven is.” Kala paused, then said quietly, “But I don’t think Bonnie will be coming.”
“I really hope Bonnie can come.”
Kala didn’t respond to that, instead telling Jennie, “Go get your clothes and bring them out here, okay?”
*****
“Sweetheart… it’s time to get up for school.”
Bonnie’s mother could see that she was awake, her eyes already open. She could also see that Bonnie’s eyes were red from crying and that there was no life in them, just a blankness. The child lay inert in the bed.
“Bonnie?” Still no response. “Sweetheart…?”
Her dad came through the door, shouting, “Bonnie! Get up this instant!”
Bonnie stoically sat up, then walked into the bathroom. Her mom went out to the living room where her dad was putting on his tie. “I don’t know what’s wrong with her,” the woman exclaimed worriedly. “It’s like she’s a zombie.”
“She’s just acting out. Trying to get her own way,” he replied, watching himself in the mirror as he adjusted his tie. “You need to be firm with her.”
A half hour later, her mom drove Bonnie to school. Neither of them spoke during the ride, and for her mother, it was an uncomfortable silence. She looked at Bonnie, studying her. The girl’s demeanor wasn’t one of rebellion, it seemed, but of sorrow and defeat.
As they pulled up at the front entrance of the school, her mom said, “Okay, I’ll be here at two forty-five to pick you up. Love you.”
Bonnie didn’t even turn to look at her, much less respond. She opened the car door and got out, walking toward the building without looking back. Bonnie’s mom watched her and noticed that not only was she not looking at or acknowledging anyone else, she wasn’t really walking. It was more like she was trudging along in utter despair, as if all her life and spirit had left her. Why would she be so wounded over some stranger she had just met?! Driving away, the woman shook her head, concerned that perhaps she and her husband had gone about this the wrong way.
At school, Bonnie stayed alone. Some of the girls tried to engage her, but she didn’t say anything back to them. The only person she wanted to confide in was Jennie, but she wasn’t there that day. She was absent.
Bonnie didn’t participate in class activities. She just sat there, not moving, until her teacher finally sent her to the nurse, thinking the child might be sick. The nurse took her temperature and asked if she felt ill, but Bonnie wouldn’t reply, so the nurse called her mother.
Several minutes later, Bonnie’s mom walked into the school office, “I got a call about my daughter not feeling well.”
“Yes, Mrs. Cartwright,” the receptionist replied. “She’s right through that door.”
Her mother walked into the adjoining room and found Bonnie sitting in a chair, looking at the floor, her whole upper torso drooping downwards. Stepping over to her, and placing a hand on her knee, she said, “Bonnie?”
Just like that morning, Bonnie didn’t respond. She simply sat there, not moving and not focusing on anything.
“She doesn’t have a temperature, and she won’t tell me what’s wrong,” the nurse told her.
“I’ll take her home,” said her mother.
As they walked out to the car, her mom asked, “Bonnie, what’s wrong? Why are you acting this way?”
The girl continued to trudge along, apparently stupefied, staring down at the ground in front of her.
At her wit’s end, her mother stopped in front of Bonnie, squatting down, trying to look into her eyes, but still unable to make contact. Grasping her shoulders, she urged, “BONNIE! Please talk to me! Yell! Cry! Hit me! Do something! Anything! Just don’t shut me out like this!”
No response.
“What did that woman do to you?!”
No response.
“Who is she?!”
Still nothing. In a last desperate effort to get any kind of reaction, her mother pinched Bonnie’s arm hard — but all she saw in response to that were a few tears welling up in Bonnie’s eyes and dripping down her cheeks. With tears now in her own eyes, she stopped pinching her daughter and hugged the girl fiercely out of deep concern. Then, standing back up, she continued to lead Bonnie toward the car.
They got inside and started up. As they were pulling out of the parking lot, her mom asked, “Do you want Pizza Hut for dinner tonight?” She didn’t really think Bonnie would answer, but she was willing to try anything.
When they arrived at the house, Bonnie saw those ugly bars on her windows. She went inside, straight to her room. Her backpack fell on the floor and she curled up on the bed in a fetal position. She had given up hope of ever seeing Raven again.
A few minutes later, her mom looked in on her and saw that the girl’s eyes were blank, staring at nothing. There was no life in them. With her concern now turning to fear, she stepped back out to the living room and called her husband at work.
“Henry, I’m really worried about Bonnie. The teacher thought she was sick so I brought her home… No, she won’t talk or respond or anything! There’s something really wrong with her… I think we should make an appointment with the doctor… Okay, try not to stay too late.”
After hanging up, she went to the fridge and poured a glass of orange juice, then brought it in to Bonnie. “Honey, I brought you some juice.”
She waited a moment, getting no response, then set the glass down on the nightstand. Sitting on the bed beside the girl, her mother rubbed Bonnie’s back sorrowfully as she wondered what was to become of this situation.
*****
Raven got off her bike and walked inside her house. She had been trying to occupy herself all day, changing the oil on her bike, running errands, doing her best to keep her mind off Bonnie. Now in the early evening, she was hungry, having not had any lunch. She took out some leftovers and popped them in the microwave, then texted Bonnie again.
She hadn’t heard anything from Bonnie the day before, and this morning had texted her, but so far Bonnie had not replied. Maybe she was with her parents and couldn’t call or text, or maybe she lost her phone, or maybe she was simply busy playing with friends. After all, she had a life too.
Raven had a bad feeling, however, that it wasn’t any of these things, and that something was wrong.
The microwave beeped. She took the food out and went over to the couch to watch TV. As she ate, she kept flipping through the channels, but nothing looked good to her. Finally in disgust she turned it off. She took another bite, noticing how quiet everything seemed… and how lonely.
She checked her phone again to see if there was any reply, but there was nothing. It was after six. Could Bonnie really have been so busy that she couldn’t check her phone?! When Raven finished eating, she lay down on the couch, feeling frustrated. No matter what she did, she couldn’t get Bonnie out of her mind. She kept seeing that cute little face as she giggled with water dripping off her naked body in the hot tub.
‘Why do I keep thinking about her?’ the woman asked herself. ‘My family is the Burning Angels. She was nothing serious, just some passing encounter.’
At least she was supposed to be, except it hadn’t turned out that way. During this past week, Bonnie had done something to her. Raven had fallen into Wonderland and was trapped there. But she liked Wonderland and wanted to stay, except now she was alone — and Wonderland wasn’t much fun when you were alone.
As the hours ticked by, Raven grew more and more despondent about Bonnie’s absence. She couldn’t deny that what had happened to Kala had happened to her. She had fallen in love. With a kid, a nine-year-old little girl. Like Kala, she didn’t know what this meant, only that she needed to figure it out.
Getting up, she went over to Kala’s side of the duplex and knocked. A moment later, Kala opened the door and stepped out into the garage.
“How’s Jennie?” Raven asked.
“A lot better. Her arm doesn’t hurt anymore and the bruising has gone down.”
“That’s good. But… I haven’t heard from Bonnie since the day before yesterday. I’ve texted and called, but there’s no answer.”
“Maybe she’s just busy or something,” Kala suggested.
“No, I think something’s wrong. She wouldn’t wait this long and not answer. I have to find out what happened.”
“It may not matter anymore.”
“What do you mean?!” Raven scowled.
“Jadis called this morning. We’re heading out tomorrow.”
Raven felt a moment of anxiety, then asked, “Tomorrow?”
“Yeah. After we’re done in Texas, we’re moving on to Louisiana.”
“You’re taking Jennie?”
Kala nodded. Raven looked off to the side, thinking, then said quietly, “I can’t take Bonnie. Even if I could get her away from her parents, if anything were to happen to her…” She looked back at Kala, “Have you told Jennie what we’ll be doing?”
“No. I mean, what am I supposed to say? This morning when I was packing, she open up a box of nine-millimeter rounds and I got mad at her. I didn’t mean to. It’s just that I don’t want her mixed up in all this. She’s so sweet and innocent, I don’t want her to know about it.”
“Well, what’s she going to think when she sees us pulling a job?”
“I don’t know.” Kala folded her arms as she leaned against the wall. “This past week… it’s opened my eyes as to what life can be… apart from the Burning Angels.”
Raven looked apprehensively at Kala, “I have to tell Bonnie we’re leaving.”
*****
Bonnie lay in bed, staring at the ceiling in the darkness. Her parents had already gone to bed some time ago. She reached under her pillow for the steak knife that she had hidden there earlier, then sat up in bed, pulled up her shirt and held the knife to her belly.
She was in love with Raven, just like her parents were in love with each other. She had never understood the power of love between two people before, but now she did, and to be without someone you were so much in love with… it hurt. Life without that person seemed bleak and miserable. She couldn’t take the pain anymore. And now — she was going to make the pain go away. If she couldn’t be with Raven, what was there in life for her?
Bonnie felt the cold, sharp point of the blade pressing against her skin. She stared down at it, trembling, her breath becoming ragged and shallow in anticipation. She gripped the knife, breathing out hoarsely, “I love you Raven.”
Slowly she pushed the blade inwards… her hand began shaking, the knife slipped through her fingers, and she fell on the bed with huge wracking sobs. Curling up, she grasped her legs in a fetal position as she cried bitterly, “R-Raven… why…?”
Through her sobs, there was another sound. A tapping. “Bonnie.”
Bonnie tried to stop crying. She thought she’d heard her name. She listened. Another tapping, and then, “Bonnie.”
She raised up, looking in the direction of the window.
“Bonnie,” she heard.
She exploded inside as she realized who it was! Leaping up, she scurried to the window, fumbling with the latch before quickly raising it. “RAVEN!?” She reached through the bars, eagerly grasping her hands.
“Shhhh!” Raven warned.
Bonnie was a flurry of words, “My parents found out, Alice’s mom saw us at the mall, they took my phone so I couldn’t call, and they put these bars on, I missed you so much, I wanted to see you but I couldn’t they won’t let me leave or call or–”
“Bonnie!”
The girl finally stopped. Raven tried to speak but couldn’t at first. She reached through the bars, stroking Bonnie’s cheek as she looked into her eyes, which were red from crying. She seemed so thin too, thinner than usual.
“Did you come to get me out of here?” Bonnie asked.
“No.” Raven shook her head.
Bonnie was stunned, staring at her in shock.
“I’m leaving tomorrow,” Raven continued quietly. “I came to say goodbye.”
“L-leaving?” Bonnie mumbled, “B-but why…? Where…? When will you come back?”
Raven was silent for a few seconds, then said, “I’m not coming back.”
Tears began welling up in Bonnie’s eyes as she exclaimed in anguish, “But I don’t want you to leave!”
“I have to.”
“Why?!”
“My family. The Burning Angels. Me and Kala are going to be with them now.”
“Kala’s going away?! Who’ll take care of Jennie?!”
“Kala’s taking her–”
“Then take me with you!!” Bonnie interrupted.
“It’s not the same. Jennie doesn’t have a home. You do. You have a good life here…”
“No, I don’t! I’m a prisoner!” Bonnie cried. “I don’t want to stay here! Take me with you!”
“I can’t!” Raven insisted. This was not going the way she’d planned. She didn’t want Bonnie to hate her. “Me and Kala… we, we’re not the kind of people you think we are.” She closed her eyes in frustration.
“I don’t care! I just want to be with you!”
Raven was growing exasperated, “NO! I can’t… I can’t risk anything happening to you.”
“I thought you loved me,” Bonnie said quietly, tears running down her face.
“I do, I do…” Raven wiped the tears running down her own face. “That’s why I’m not taking you.” Cupping Bonnie’s cheek, she choked, “I’ll always love you,” then she pulled away as the child tried to hold on.
“NOOO — DON’T LEAVE ME!”
The woman stepped back, “Goodbye Bonnie.”
Bonnie reached as far as she could through the bars, straining in her efforts to keep Raven from leaving, “Please… please… please…”
Raven wiped her eyes as she looked at Bonnie once more, then turned and disappeared into the darkness, with Bonnie’s screams haunting her as she ran away, “RAVEN…! NOOOOOO…! DON’T LEAVE MEEEEE…!”
The bedroom door crashed opened. “BONNIE?!” her father yelled. “What the hell are you doing?! Get back in bed!”
Bonnie refused to leave the window, still screaming, “RAVEN!” as her father tried to pull her away.
Her mom came in, “Bonnie?! What is wrong with you?! Get in bed this instant!”
The girl crumpled onto the bed as her dad went back to the open window, looked out, didn’t see anything, and pulled it shut. “Now go to sleep!” he shouted, then closed the door behind him as he and her mother left the room.
For many long minutes, Bonnie lay crying. When her eyes were empty of tears, she stared blankly at the wall, thinking about things. Then the knife, half-hidden in a fold of the blanket, came into focus. She picked it up, looked at it — and threw it across the room.
Bonnie had made up her mind. Just seeing Raven and hearing her voice made her feel not quite so desolate. She was angry now at both Raven and her parents. And she wasn’t going to give up this easily. If Kala was going to take Jennie, then Bonnie would make Raven take her too.
She made her plans. Raven had told her she was leaving tomorrow. The only chance for Bonnie to get away from her parents would be during school. The school wasn’t that far from Raven’s house. She could leave during morning recess and walk over there. ‘Okay, that’s what I’ll do’, Bonnie told herself.
If she was going to leave with Raven, she’d better pack. Getting up, she took her school stuff out of her backpack and hid it under the bed, then packed two changes of clothes, her favorite book, Meg and the Ghost of Hidden Springs, and… she looked around the room at her toys, her DVDs, CDs, and the rest of her books, but concluded that she didn’t really need or want anything else. Setting her backpack on the floor beside her, the girl crawled into bed and lay there, her mind of jumble of thoughts as she eventually drifted off to sleep.
*****
Raven sat on the curb beside her bike on the darkened, empty street, face in her hands. She could still hear Bonnie’s screams in her head as her guilty conscience accused her of abandoning the child. It killed her to have to do something so seemingly cruel, but it was for Bonnie’s own good.
‘Was it?’ Her conscience raised doubts within Raven as she wiped her eyes.
*****
In the morning, Bonnie woke up with the sound of her alarm for once. Turning it off, she thought about everything she’d planned and got out of bed with determination. After showering, she got dressed and went to the kitchen for breakfast. For the first time in three days, she had an appetite. Her mother had made bacon and eggs, which Bonnie took and ate silently. Her mom tried to engage her in conversation, but she remained silent. ‘At least she’s eating’, her mother remarked to herself.
After Bonnie finished breakfast, she went to her room to get her backpack. She grabbed it and was about to leave, but then stopped and took one last look at her room… a funny feeling that she would never see any of this again swept over her. Suddenly spying something on the nightstand, she ran over and picked it up. A memento of happier times, it was a small framed photo of her with her parents at McKinney Falls State Park, taken the previous summer. She’d had a lot of fun there, and the memory of that was special to her. She slipped the photo into one of the pockets in her backpack, then turned and left.
The ride to school was as silent as it had been the day before. When they pulled up beside the building, her mom said, “Have a good day. I’ll see you this afternoon.”
Bonnie opened the car door as she always did, and was about to step out, but paused. Turning back, she stared at her mom for several seconds. “Goodbye,” Bonnie finally said. Then she slid out of the car seat and shut the door, thinking, ‘Who knows when we’ll see each other again…’
Her mother, caught off guard by such peculiar behavior, sat wondering as her daughter walked along the sidewalk towards the front entrance of the school.
*****
During class, Bonnie was again brooding and uncooperative. But unlike before, now there was a gleam of vigor in her eyes as she waited impatiently for morning recess. Finally, the teacher lined them up to go outside. They marched out of the classroom, and upon reaching the playground, everyone scattered.
Bonnie waited, looking around to make sure none of the teachers were watching her, then slipped back into the building. Hurrying along the quiet hallway, scared of being caught, she finally reached her classroom, grabbed her backpack, then went back outside again. Now she turned sharply away from the playground and ran around the corner of the building, out of sight of everyone. Putting her backpack on, she began the trek to Raven’s house.
During the long walk, she thought how strange it felt to be out on the busy roads in the middle of the school day. She kept imagining that her mom or dad might drive by and see her and pull over, but they never did. After what seemed like an eternity, though it was actually less than half an hour, she turned onto the street that Raven’s house was on.
As she approached the duplex, she saw that the garage door was open and both bikes had saddle bags attached to them as well as the usual tail bag. Kala was putting something in one of the bags when Bonnie came strolling up the driveway.
“BONNIE?!” Jennie shrieked excitedly. She ran over and hugged her best friend with her good arm. “You came! Are you coming with us?”
Kala wore a confused look. “But — what are you doing here? I thought Raven wasn’t bringing you.”
The sound of a door hitting against the wall caused them all to look over at Raven, who had just stepped out of the house into the garage, her arms full of boxes. When Raven saw Bonnie, she stopped mid-stride and stared, her face a mixture of anxiety and elation.
Bonnie, determined to stand her ground, crossed her arms defiantly, and stated, “I’m coming!”
It took Raven a few seconds to process that the little girl she was in love with was standing right there, but once she did, she continued walking towards her bike. “No, you’re not.” She dropped the boxes into one of her saddlebags.
“Yes, I am! Jennie’s going,” Bonnie told her in an insistent manner, her eyes narrowing at Raven.
Kala and Jennie had both stopped packing at this point and were watching the drama unfold.
“That’s different! She doesn’t have a home.”
“Neither do I!” Bonnie countered.
Kala stepped over to Raven, saying quietly, “She seems really determined.”
Raven glared, “I’m not gonna take her around those bitches! How’re you gonna keep Jennie safe??” She shook her head, “No, I can’t take the chance…” Then she turned back to Bonnie, “I wish I had the life you have. I’m taking you back.”
Bonnie’s scowl melted into a sad look, “I don’t want that. I want you.”
“What about your parents?” Raven asked.
“I don’t want them, I want you!”
Bonnie ran to the woman she loved, throwing her arms around her as she pressed her face against her stomach. As the tears came, she sobbed, “I can’t live without you. I can’t.” Peering up at her face, Bonnie beseeched, “Please…”
Raven gave the girl a hug. She desperately wanted to take Bonnie with them, but how could she keep her safe? She looked at Kala, who raised her eyebrows at her in return then simply shrugged. Raven looked down at Bonnie…
Continue on to Chapter 8