{ This story was originally posted at Lesbian Lolita in May 2009 }
It was a hot morning in the middle of September, and I was standing there alone in the kitchen, waiting by the door in my bathrobe. It was still summer but vacation was over. My mom felt funny about leaving me alone at my age, but because I was almost twelve, she thought it would be okay. Besides, she didn’t have much personal time left at work.
I had told my mom I had a stomach ache and she let me stay home from school, even though my big sister Rhonda kept saying I was a little faker. I guess Mom believed me, because every time I told her I felt sick before that, I really was sick.
I honestly don’t know if I felt bad about lying about it for the first time. There were too many other things going on in my head. I was nervous and I was shaking and I felt like I was going crazy, and it was all because I was in love.
Yes, that’s what I said. I know you’re probably laughing at me right now and saying that a girl of eleven can’t be in love. I am no expert. I’m simply a young girl looking out the window on a rainy day and remembering, and I can tell you how I felt. And it was no quick fall, like with some girls. I know some idiots in school now, fifteen or sixteen years old, who start going out with a guy yesterday and suddenly today they are in love.
No, it was no quick fall, but there was a quick “something,” I can tell you that. Maybe part of it was because of growing pains, trying to get people to stop treating me like a little girl, and all the emotions running through me. Another part was that my best friend Heather had just moved away, leaving me just plain lonely and sad. But there was definitely a part of the quick something I wasn’t prepared for…
*****
It was one beautiful June morning, not long after my best friend had moved away, that I stepped out in the backyard in my t-shirt and shorts. I was wearing a pair of big, dark sunglasses and listening to music through headphones from my MP3 player. It had rained during the night and the grass felt wonderful between my toes. I swept the excess water off one of the lawn chairs and lay down, closing my eyes.
I don’t remember how long I lay there, but the headphones were suddenly yanked from my ears.
“Hey, Mouse-Fart!” Rhonda yelled at me. That’s my sister and one of her many cute pet names for me. “God, can’t you fucking hear?”
“I was listening to my music, do you mind?”
She was in her red bikini — no doubt wanting to sunbathe, but there were two chairs, so why bug me? She was a beautiful girl, my sister, with blond hair and blue eyes like me, and a great body, but she’s always had issues of territory and of trust, and has always been combative in one way or another.
“What kind of music? Is it Sesame Street, or Hannah-fucking-Montana?”
I was used to her being mean to me. It sometimes felt like I wanted to hit her, but she was bigger than me, and I knew it wouldn’t end up very well, so I just let it go.
“Go somewhere else so we can lay out,” Rhonda said.
“Who’s ‘we’?”
Rhonda stepped off to the side, I saw the girl who had been standing behind her and something happened to me. I didn’t know what it was. There was a warm feeling in my tummy and then tingles that ran all over me.
I took off my sunglasses and stood up from the lawn chair, nearly stumbling, glad that my sister didn’t take the opportunity to make a joke about it.
“Jasmine, this is my little sister Allison,” Rhonda said. “Allison, this is Jasmine. Her family moved into Heather’s house. My sister and Heather were best friends for a long time.”
“I’m sorry your friend moved away,” Jasmine said to me, “but it’s nice to meet you, Allison.”
Her voice was gentle like the breeze. She was about five feet, three inches tall and her skin was dark, golden-brown colored. Her hair was long and black and filled with wavy curls. She wore a yellow bikini and her body was absolute perfection with firm round breasts, a flat tummy and shapely legs, but none of that mattered at the time as much as her face. It was her face that captured me from the start, and the way she looked at me with her beautiful dark, sparkling eyes, and the way her full red lips spread into such a gentle smile.
“It’s nice to meet you, too,” I said.
“I don’t really want to kick you out of your own back yard,” she said.
“Oh,” Rhonda said, “she doesn’t mind, do you, Ally?”
“No, I’ll be fine,” I said, and quickly ran into the house and climbed the stairs, going to my room, closing the door. I was breathing very heavily. I threw my MP3 on my pillow and fell back across the bed. All I could think about was her face and her voice and yes, her body did creep in there too, and what the hell was that all about? It was total confusion.
*****
Three months later I stood by the kitchen door, looking up at the clock, not knowing if I wanted it to slow down or to speed up. This day had been planned, and I’d followed the plan so far, and it had worked, right down to my mother being short on personal time. Of course, my tummy really did seem to have a knot in it as the time approached, even a hint of nausea.
I saw someone through the window. It was Jasmine, wearing a yellow t-shirt and red athletic shorts. My heart began pounding as I stepped to the kitchen door and pulled it open.
“Hello, Ally,” she said to me, stepping in and hugging me. “I’ve missed you. How are you, sweetheart?”
Jasmine’s embrace was warm and secure, but I was still trembling when she let me go. I closed the kitchen door and turned around. She must have sensed my nervousness because she reached out and touched my face, caressing it softly.
“Oh, Ally, are you all right with this?”
“Yes,” I said.
She put one arms around my neck and leaned over me, looking into my eyes. She kissed me. She had kissed me several times over the latter part of the summer, and although they’d been sweet kisses, each more passionate than the last, they had been given under much more covert circumstances. When you are fifteen, you don’t want to get caught making out with your best friend’s little sister. The kiss calmed me.
“Ally, I have to tell you something,” Jasmine said to me, looking down into my eyes and holding me. “I’ve only been with one girl before and we didn’t do much of anything, so don’t feel nervous with me, okay?
“If you don’t feel like doing anything more than talking and kissing, maybe a little touching, that’s fine. I just don’t want you to be scared. You’re still a very young girl and you have plenty of… time.”
With the last sentence, dared by the words very young girl, I quickly backed away and untied my robe, allowing it to dangle open. It exposed enough to show that I was naked underneath, completely naked, and I looked to Jasmine’s eyes for her reaction.
“Well,” she said, “it looks like you’re serious.”
“I love you,” I said, “and I want to be with you.”
I didn’t know how I managed to get that out. I think it was pure guts. I knew I did desire her in that way, to touch her and be touched by her. After all, how many nights had I lay in my bed in the dark thinking about her and masturbating? Too many to count.
I took Jasmine’s hand and told her to slip her shoes off at the door. She smiled at me and took them off and then, hand-in-hand, I walked her to the stairs and we climbed them. We wound up in my mother’s bedroom, where I told her to sit on edge of the bed. I took a deep breath and removed my robe completely. I moved close to her and watched her dark eyes move over my body.
I had very small breasts that rose in little points from my chest, and a very small tuft of golden pubic hair at the tip of my crack. I had a slender waist and my hips had begun to widen a bit in the past few months. My legs were not very long, but they were tanned and athletic.
“You have a beautiful body, Allison,” she said. “I want to kiss you all over.”
I let her pull me close and hold me and I leaned down and this time I kissed her. After the kiss ended, I wanted to hear her say the words, so I asked her.
“Are you in love with me, Jasmine?”
“Allison, you are very special to me, but… give me some time.”
I kissed her again. I kissed her passionately. I wasn’t disappointed. For me, Jasmine was a dream come true, everything about her — seeing her for the first time, understanding through Jasmine what I felt about her in the beginning… and realizing she felt the same way about me.
*****
I was sitting in the backyard one night by myself, crying quietly. Jasmine came out the back door to grab her bike and go home when she heard me there in the dark. She found me sitting in the grass and sat down next to me, then asked me what was wrong.
I tried to tell her it was nothing, but she said, “When a girl is sitting in her back yard crying, something is definitely wrong.”
“Okay,” I said, “but I can’t tell anybody about it.”
“Well, maybe not your mom or your sister, but I’m impartial and non-judgmental. You can tell me anything. And I won’t rat on you, either.”
“No,” I said, “I can’t tell you…”
“Well, there are some things I can’t tell other people and I know how that is, Allison. It’s terrible to have secrets. You know the worst one? Not being able to tell someone what you feel about them because you’re afraid of what they might think. That’s a tough one. It would be funny, you know, if both of us had that little secret… wouldn’t it?”
Jasmine put her arm around me there in the grass and kissed me lingeringly on the cheek, then once again further back, closer to my ear, and I didn’t shrink away.
“That’s my secret, Allison. I like girls… and I really like you. Can you keep my secret?”
I wiped my eyes and looked up at her, smiling. “Yes,” I sighed, “I can.”
That night was the first night I masturbated to thoughts of Jasmine without guilt or hesitation, and it was to be followed by many more.
*****
I felt her lips begin to kiss me about the neck and her fingers move up and down my body. She touched my small breasts and flicked at my nipples. It caused a tickle at my throat and sent tingles straight down below.
“Why don’t you come lie down?” she asked me.
I climbed on the bed. I was still shaking, mind you, still uncertain — though this beautiful girl, almost the age that I am now, was doing everything to make me feel good. Before very long, I was completely hers.
I loved her kisses on my mouth, the neck and shoulders, and then lower down, finally kissing my little breasts. I could feel her fingers on my thighs, caressing them, and I reached up to run my fingers through those tresses of black hair. She began sucking on my nipples, getting them hard, and I realized her breathing was heavy and her crotch was half-riding my thigh. God, that excited me!
I reached out and grabbed her hips, encouraging her to grind against my thigh. She sat up and grinned at me, all red-faced.
“I want to see your breasts,” I said, and watched Jasmine pull her t-shirt off over her head, then unhook her bra and take it off, showing her beautiful breasts to me. The nipples were dark, and they were already stiff.
“Can I touch them?” The question felt foolish as soon as I asked it, but she didn’t treat it that way.
“Please,” Jasmine said. “Please touch them. And play with my nipples.”
I reached up and took them in my hands, feeling her nipples between my fingers. All the while, she continued to grind against my thigh, her movements growing more and more tense. Then she straddled me and began rubbing herself against the base of my belly. I continued to gently pinch her nipples as she ground faster and faster, finally seizing up and crying out into the quiet of the house, then falling forward against me, moaning quietly and breathing heavily against my neck.
“Oh, Allison,” Jasmine sighed.
“Yeah,” I said.
“That was beautiful. Have you ever had one of those? You know what I mean, right?”
“Yes,” I told her, “I’ve had them by myself.”
“Oh, I know. That was my first one with another person,” she smiled, kissing me. “You know what it’s called? It’s called an ‘orgasm,’ sweetheart, and when you have one you call it ‘coming.’”
She looked down into my eyes and then lowered her mouth to mine, her lips caressing my lips. She did this for a long time, then slipped her tongue into my mouth and began kissing me passionately. As she did so, she lifted herself off my belly for a moment and gently pushed my legs apart, coming to rest between them. My body was tingling everywhere as she pressed herself against me, grinding her hips. Her mouth broke away from mine and she gazed down at me with a look in her dark eyes I’d never seen before.
“I’m going to make love to you, baby,” Jasmine said. “I’m going to make you come.”
“Yes,” I said.
“I’m going to do something I’ve never done to a girl before, so if I do something wrong — if it hurts… if you want me to stop…”
“Yes, Jasmine,” I told her.
“Close your eyes, my sweet Allison.”
I closed my eyes and felt her warm breath on my face, her soft kisses on my cheek and then my neck, down along my throat, around to the other side of my neck. Her fingers caressed along my arms and her mouth began to move over my shoulder, causing sensations of pleasure I couldn’t contain, and I gave off a little moan.
Instinctively, I took my fingers from Jasmine’s hair and threw my arms around her neck as she kissed her way across my collar bone and to my other shoulder, and I moaned again, feeling her lips and tongue move along my tender flesh.
I was in heaven.
My mother had left her window just slightly open, and I could hear the birds chirping outside, feel a light breeze come in across my legs. It was getting to be the middle of the morning and the sunlight was shining in through the curtains, and I could see it on the inside of my eyelids as my teenage lover began to slowly kiss her way further down my pubescent body. It was a beautiful day outside, but it was a beautiful day inside because I was with my girl. Had I not dreamed of this day? But what had I dreamed? Kisses and embraces and yes, perhaps to be naked with her and touch her, but there was so much that was unknown to me.
Of course, now it was happening, and I didn’t have to worry about the unknown. Jasmine was beginning to kiss my nipples, sending that tickle to my throat and those sweet shocks down to my little button, and all I could do was hold on and go with what was happening. I wasn’t afraid.
I can’t remember exactly how old I was when I had my first orgasm, but I was probably eight or nine. I’d been touching myself innocently in my bed at night for months, probably over a year, just as a means of feeling good. One night the feeling grew stronger than before and went over the top. It came quickly and went just as fast, but the pleasure was intense, and I remember the muscles twitching in the bottoms of my feet.
Over time, as I got older, my orgasms became different, grew longer, and I learned better how to touch myself, to draw out the pleasure.
That’s just what Jasmine was doing to me, drawing it out. My clitoris was already swollen. I could feel it down there. She was sucking at my tiny red nipples, gently grazing them with her teeth. They were hard, sticking out from my little cone-shaped breasts. I opened my eyes long enough to look down at them and see Jasmine look up at me, then I rested my head back on the pillow and closed my eyes again as she placed her hands on my little breasts, pinching my nipples, and began kissing her way down my abdomen.
I knew then what she was going to do. I had heard of it. I wanted her to do it. I was wriggling, trembling there on the bed, arching my hips against her breasts.
“Excited, aren’t you?” she asked me softly.
“Oh… yes…” I said breathlessly.
“You are beautiful,” she said, “so beautiful and precious…”
She continued to kiss her way down. She kissed my tummy and came to my “private place,” but she didn’t go for that right away.
“Oh, Allison, what a lovely little pussy,” she said, “but I’ve got to kiss those wonderful legs first.”
She began to kiss and nibble my thigh and I had to take my fingers from her hair as she moved further down, along my leg and down to my foot, sucking my toes. It tickled at first, but then it felt very good, and when she moved to the other foot and did the same thing, it didn’t tickle at all.
Jasmine kissed her way along my leg and up the inside of my thigh, causing me to tingle all over in anticipation. I could feel her fingers spreading my pussy lips. It was then that I first felt her tongue touch my clitoris. She began to lick it very gently and I could feel it right down in my toes. I had nothing to compare it to, for no one had ever done it to me before, but as she continued it only felt better. I was tensing my legs and ankles and flexing my toes, holding my breath and releasing it and moaning softly as the sensations grew within me.
I still wasn’t sure if I would be able to have an orgasm with her or not. That all changed when she flattened her tongue against me and began to wiggle it from side to side. The sensations in my little clitoris doubled and I reached down, locking my fingers in her hair, grinding my hips, pressing my entire pussy against her mouth. I could hear her breathing hard and she grabbed my butt, cupping both cheeks. I could feel it coming. I was reaching for it. At the same time I was tensing up, trying to draw it out from force of habit. I was finally defeated. Jasmine’s tongue flicking quickly from side to side over my clit was simply too much for me and I let go of her hair, threw my arms back over my head, arched my back and held my breath one last time. That was when I felt it, and I couldn’t help but close my legs and lock Jasmine’s head in a vice grip.
The cry that filled the house was my own, a wild animal-like cry that I couldn’t have held in had I wanted to. The pleasure, the intensity of the orgasm was just too great. My butt was off the bed and I was frozen there, my clitoris pulsating against Jasmine’s mouth. I was moaning and shaking and breathing hard. It was the most intense orgasm I ever had in my life, and it wasn’t ending quickly.
When it finally did fade, my Jasmine, freed from the grip of my thighs, moved up and smiled at me, her mouth and chin moist with my juices. I was still catching my breath.
“Oh, Allison,” Jasmine said to me, “that was so hot.”
“No kidding,” I said. “I never… came like that before!”
We lay there for a moment, snuggling quietly while I recovered, and then I rolled over on top of her and, without asking, proceeded to return the favor. I didn’t really know how to go about it except to imitate what she’d done, and go with what I was feeling. I kissed her on the mouth, those beautiful lips, and then on her cheek, her neck…
I didn’t take as much time as she had. I definitely spent awhile fondling her breasts and sucking on her hard nipples. There was something so natural and beautiful about that. She moaned and ground her hips up against me.
I reached down and tugged at her shorts. She lifted her butt off the bed and I stripped her completely naked. I expected to see a lot of hair, but there was just a small black strip at the top. Because she had kissed my legs all over, and because her legs were so tanned and beautiful, I decided to do the same.
It was not long before I was gazing at her pussy, spreading it open with my fingers. I had looked at mine in the mirror before, and Jasmine’s was very different. God, it was beautiful! It looked like some exotic flower. The lips were dark and perfectly shaped, and when I spread them apart, the inside was a bright pink. Jasmine was already breathing hard with anticipation when I lowered my tongue to her pussy. Her body immediately reacted to the touch.
I found the hard spot high within the lips and I began to swirl my tongue against it.
“Oh, Allison, my sweet girl,” she whimpered at me, “that feels so good.”
It thrilled me to hear those words. It excited me to excite her. As she began to tremble, I grasped her body with my hands, wanting to feel every bit of her pleasure. I was riding high. I tried all different ways of licking her and found the best one. It drove her wild.
“Oh, yes, lick it, baby,” Jasmine cried, clutching at my hair, grinding her hips against my face, and then she grabbed the back of my head with both hands as her legs stiffened. She whimpered and gasped, “I’m coming, Allison!”
I held on as she bucked against my face and moaned, reaching down between my own legs to rub my clitoris. It was almost instantaneous. Just as her orgasm subsided, I went off quietly. Moments later, I climbed up and lay down beside her.
Her dark eyes looked into mine with surprise. “That was something,” she said. “You’re quite a girl.”
“So are you,” I told her.
“I do love you…” Jasmine whispered as we rested in one another’s arms. I looked at her, and tears filled my eyes as we kissed.
We made love again that day, then we took a bath together and washed each other, and we talked about our lives. I spoke of not having a father, and not being able to remember him. I talked about how my mom treated me like her little girl, and how Rhonda liked to call me names and push me around.
Jasmine talked about having a black father and a white mother and how some people looked at them, and how some people treated her because she was mixed. She talked about how hard it was being different, no matter what it was that was different about you. As for Rhonda, she didn’t think I should take her treatment of me to heart. After all, we were sisters and we would be for life.
After we’d aired out my mother’s bedroom, clearing it of the female scents we created there, and cleaned up, I put on my nightgown and bathrobe — my stay-home-sick costume — and we spent our few last moments together in the kitchen, kissing and embracing by the door.
“I love you, Jasmine,” I told her.
“I love you, Allison,” she said. “I’ll see you soon, okay? Very soon.” And she left. I closed the door and leaned against it, smiling with a warm feeling deep inside. Whether it was two days or two weeks before I could be alone with her again, this day I had been in heaven. It had been a dream come true, even if part of the dream had at first made me a little hesitant or uncertain.
I know, I know, there are some of you who will say I was only eleven, and what did I know of love? And who was she, this fifteen-year-old girl, to get sexually involved with a girl of eleven, a child?
She was disturbed, you say, this Jasmine girl, and no matter what pleasure she gave me, she took my innocence. That is a lie. The taking of innocence is a slow process. It is teaching someone how to hate, how to lie, to cheat, to steal, to kill. I was a child, and you cannot take the innocence of a child.
*****
When Rhonda got home that afternoon, about twenty minutes later, she came in to see me eating a bowl of soup at the kitchen table. She set her books down and she reached over and petted my messy hair.
“Sorry about being such a bitch this morning, Ally,” she said. “So, did you puke?”
“Yeah,” I said, “but only once. It was this morning.”
“You know, Jasmine was absent today. She must have been sick, too.”
“Well,” I said, “I hope she’s okay.”
I turned my head and grinned, innocence intact…
The End