by Rosey M
July 1, 2006 – Rhonda
My mouth is so dry. It feels like it’s full of cotton or something.
As I slowly came to, I realized I was tucked into Ashley’s bed, still naked under the covers. I sat up, exposing my bare chest. With a start, I realized Ashley was sitting next to me with her back against the headboard.
She had changed into a loose shirt and a pair of shorts while I was sleeping. My drowsy gaze hovered over the smooth flesh of her long legs, then up to the laptop resting on the bed. Ashley was regarding me with an amused smile as I wiped the sleep from my eyes.
Her tablet was braced against her knees, the stylus poised in her hand as if she was in the middle of drawing something. Ashley placed them both down by the laptop before reaching over to softly brush the hair out of my face. “Hey, sweetie. How are you feeling?”
I smiled blearily at her. “Good. Just thirsty.”
Ashley leaned away to grab her glass of water off the end table, then pushed it into my hands. I drained it in one large gulp, and my sister chuckled as she watched some of the liquid dribble down my chin and onto my neck. “Guess you needed that, huh? Want some more?”
I gave a vigorous nod, and Ashley plucked the glass from my hand, kissing me on my forehead before getting up to leave the room. She returned a minute later holding two glasses, passing one to me before moving her laptop and tablet on to the end table and settling herself back on the bed.
I drank half the glass before my thirst was satiated. “Is Mom back yet?”
“Nah, it’s only been a couple of hours since you fell asleep. I’ll be surprised if she stumbles in before midnight.”
As much as I dreaded having to see Mom again, I also just wanted to get it over with. I wasn’t sure what I was going to say, but some part of me was hoping she’d just go back to ignoring me like she used to. It used to hurt a little, until I realized it just worked better for all of us that way. Ashley and I could be together as much as we wanted, and Mom could drink herself into oblivion.
If I could just explain all of this to her, I’m sure Mom would agree with me. I knew she didn’t like me very much, but she must have wanted what was best for us all. Surely she loved me enough to realize that, right?
The thought made me quiver in anxiety. I finally asked in a small voice, “Does Mom hate me?”
Ashley winced. “No, Rhonda, of course she doesn’t hate you! How could anybody ever hate you? You’re amazing! Mom’s just… she’s never been a very good mother, that’s all.
“She did all kinds of shit to me when I was younger, but I thought she’d moved past all the bullying. I thought maybe she’d find it harder to justify hurting you. I guess she just needed the right excuse to start up all that bullshit again. She’s a fucking cow, but that doesn’t mean she hates you. She hates me, but we’ve been at each other’s throats my whole life. I wish things could be different; you deserve so much better than this.”
My heart filled with love for Ashley, even as I began festering in anger at the thought of Mom hurting her growing up. I was really starting to hate her a little myself.
“You deserve better too, Ashley. W-will you tell me about what it was like when you were little? I wish I could have been old enough to protect you.”
A bitter chuckle escaped my sister’s mouth. “I’d never want you to stand in the line of fire for me. That’s an older sister’s job and mine until the end. Besides, I don’t want to drag you into any of my shit when we’re still dealing with all of this.”
I frowned at her. “But it’s okay for me to drag you into my sh-sh-shit?”
Ashley broke into peals of laughter. I huffed as I shoved her shoulder halfheartedly, and she wiped tears from her eyes. “Don’t swear, Rhonda! It is the weirdest thing I’ve ever heard, coming from your mouth.”
I stared at her beseechingly. “Please, Ashley? Be serious for a minute. You never talk about what it was like when you were younger. I… I just want to know more about your relationship with Mom.”
That sobered Ashley instantly. She ran a hand down her face like she always did when trying to regain her composure. “I never talk about it because I don’t have many nice things to say. Ugh! Do you really want to hear about all that stuff?”
I hardened my resolve, nodding firmly. Ashley groaned, then slid down the headboard until she was flat on her back. She lay in silence with her arm pressed against her forehead. It took a long moment before she began speaking.
Her voice stuttered and cracked as she recalled all the things I was too young to remember – What it was like before I was born and how lonely she had felt. How Mom and Dad were always drinking or fighting, or taking their frustrations out on her. All the times they would hit her over stupid things, and how nobody would say anything about Ashley’s bruises. One time, a counselor tried to speak to Ashley about her home life, and Ashley told me how much shit she’d caught for it when our parents got a visit afterward.
Ashley’s laugh was bitter when she talked about starting puberty, and how Mom would tell her to keep her legs closed around guys or else she’d probably grow up to be a slut who got knocked up by some piece of shit. Ashley had shot back by asking if that’s what happened to her, and Mom had beaten her black and blue for it.
I had the vaguest memory of Ashley limping around in pain when I was really little, but I didn’t really understand what had happened at the time. I’d never stopped to consider what she’d gone through when she was younger. I couldn’t bear the thought of it. Why hadn’t she told me any of this before?
I listened in horror as she spoke about Dad leaving, and how unstable and angry our mother became afterward. How Ashley tried her hardest to keep Mom’s vitriol directed at her so I wouldn’t be in the firing line.
It only really stopped when Ashley overpowered and pinned our mom to the floor a couple of years before, only releasing her after the slew of screamed insults tapered off and Mom backed away in tears. Now Mom only tried to hit Ashley when she was good and wasted, too inebriated to recall the folly of those hard-learned lessons.
I felt appalled and ashamed by everything Ashley had been through in her struggle to protect me, wishing I could have made it all better, somehow. Sure, Mom had whacked me a few times, but I never had to experience much of her violent, hurtful side. The mom I got was the one who preferred to act like I was invisible. But I’d have taken the full force of her anger and violence if it meant Ashley didn’t have to.
I hated Mom for every unkind word she’d ever spoken to Ashley. Every punch, every demeaning insult. How dare she treat my sister like that!?
Ashley was getting distressed, and I realized we needed to stop talking about Mom. I soothed her until she calmed down a little, then cradled her head to my chest.
“I’m so sorry that happened to you, Ashley. I love you so, so much, and I’ll always be here for you. One day it’ll just be you and me, and we won’t have to deal with Mom ever again.”
It was Ashley’s turn to sniffle. “Fuck! Fuckfuckfuck. I love you, Rhonda. You’re my reason for living.”
She pressed her fists against her eyes to rub the tears away. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that. I don’t want you carrying that shit in your head like I do. I can’t seem to keep my guard up when I’m around you anymore. You’ll know all my secrets before long.”
I glared at her. “You don’t need to keep your guard up around me. I’m your sister, damn it!” Taking her in my arms, I whispered, “I want to know everything about you, Ashley.” I kissed her to show I meant it, and she returned my affections gratefully.
That’s how it’s always been with Ashley and me, then and now. All it takes is seeing my sister in pain, and my own worries fade into the background. I’ll never know how I managed to stay calm whenever she was unhappy or upset, but I was always glad for the chance to offer support when she needed it.
I knew she shouldn’t have to stand up for me the way she did earlier. I had to be stronger. For Ashley, for both of us. I decided I needed to talk to Mom alone. My mother had one thing right: I needed to grow up. And if that meant having a hard conversation without my sister there to protect me, so be it.
“There’s still time before your shift. You should go to work tonight.”
Ashley looked a little hurt at my words, so I rushed to explain. “I just think it’s silly for you to miss your shift because of this. I promise, I’ll be fine. Mom probably went out drinking, and she won’t be back until after you’re off, anyway. Not that I don’t want you here, but I’ll be okay by myself. I’ll probably just take a nap after you’ve gone.”
She didn’t look convinced, so I pulled out the big guns. “You know how much I trust you. But I need you to trust me, too. I’ll be fine. If Mom comes back, I’ll deal with it. I don’t want you to end up getting fired because of her. Please, Ashley?”
She ran her hand down her face again, but finally agreed. “There’s no changing your mind, is there? Fuck. Fine. But I want you to call the store if she gets back and it seems like she’s about to freak out. I’ll come racing home. I mean it, Rhonda.”
“Deal. Now can we cuddle before you go to work, or should I give you your room back and go hang out in mine?”
Ashley kept me right where I was.
***
Ashley left for work a little while later. They hadn’t been able to call anyone in to replace her, and were glad she could make it in. Thankfully it was a short shift, so she wouldn’t be gone for too long.
A couple of hours passed, but there was still no sign of Mom. The longer I waited, the more my nerves faltered.
I took a shower to take my mind off things. I don’t know how long I stood underneath the water, staring blankly at the tiled wall as I tried to put my thoughts in order. Eventually I turned the faucet off, got out and toweled myself dry. I went to my room to change into pajamas, then just stood by my dresser.
I could hear that buzzing noise in my ears again, making it hard to concentrate when I tried to think. I grabbed my book before returning to Ashley’s room, but I couldn’t focus on reading, either. The words were a jumbled mess on the page, and I was getting a headache trying to decipher them.
The light was hurting my eyes. Why was it so bright!? Frustrated, I threw the book onto Ashley’s nightstand, then tried to stand. I could barely summon any strength into my limbs as the world swam before my eyes. I stumbled over to the light switch to flick it off, barely making it back to the bed before my body buckled under me.
I curled myself up in the center of the mattress. It felt like the room was spinning, the colors of the pictures on the wall blending together. I shut my eyes to try and dispel the nausea.
I couldn’t clear my mind at all. I was filled with dread at the thought of facing my mom. Why did she have to be so horrible to us? Couldn’t she just ignore me like she used to?
But that wouldn’t be fair to Ashley. She’d gone through so much already, and Mom had to answer for how she treated us, didn’t she? But that would cause trouble for Ashley, too. Urgh! Why did this have to be so hard to figure out!? What was I supposed to do?
I could barely move, as if my limbs, my head, my body had turned to stone. All I could do was lie there, knees tucked against my chest, whimpering, “Oh, God… oh, God…
Why didn’t I just let Ashley stay with me?
This feels awful…
***
The last of the light had already faded by the time I came to, and the room was bathed in darkness. My brain felt foggy, my mouth bone dry. I climbed off the bed, and even though my limbs were still weak, I was relieved to find them able to support me. I navigated my way to Ashley’s door and left the room.
Shuffling my way from the hall into the kitchen, I went straight for the sink. I drank directly from the faucet until my throat stopped feeling like it was coated in dust, then grabbed a cup to fill with water. As I held it under the tap, I heard the sound of glass clinking from the living room.
I flinched, causing the cup to slip from my hand and land by the drain with a loud clatter. Fortunately it didn’t break, and I let out a relieved sigh.
“Which one of you is that?”
The sound of the voice turned my insides to ice. I closed my eyes, feeling like my heart was about to beat out of my chest. I pressed a hand over it to try and gain some control. Calm down, Rhonda, I told myself. You knew you’d see her tonight. You’ve got this.
Swallowing loudly, I slowly made my way over to the living room. It was dark, but I could still make out the shape of my mother sitting on the couch. I moved to the wall and flicked the light switch. As light flooded the room, Mom raised one arm to shield her face.
“Shit! What the fuck is wrong with you!? Are you trying to blind me or something!?”
As my vision adjusted, I spotted the case of beers on the coffee table. A few empty bottles were scattered haphazardly beside it. After several long moments, Mom lowered her hand and glared at me. “Oh, it’s you.”
She reeked of booze, and her vision seemed unfocused as she tried to keep me in her sights.
“Um, are you okay?” I asked reluctantly.
Mom looked at me like she didn’t quite understand the question. Then her eyes suddenly sharpened as she snapped, “What? I’m fine. I was just over at Heather’s.”
I was pretty sure her friend lived across the city. I went over to the window to check outside and saw Mom’s car, parked at an awkward angle between her space and Ashley’s. Alarmed, I turned back to her. “Did you drive home drunk?”
“What’s it to you? I’m in one piece, aren’t I?”
“It’s just, aren’t you not supposed to do that? I’ve seen commercials.”
“Well, you’re not supposed to fuck your sister, but apparently that’s fine these days.”
My heart sank. “What? W-we’re not—“
Mom interrupted me with a chuckle, “Oh, calm down. I’m just messing with you.”
She leaned forward to grab a bottle from the case, then slammed the top against the edge of the coffee table to pop the cap off. She slid the bottle towards me. “Here, have a beer. You and I need to chat while Ashley’s not here. Girl to girl.”
I made no move to reach for the bottle. Mom opened another and took a long swig. As she placed it back on the table, her attention turned back to me.
“Take the bottle, Rhonda. If Ashley thinks you’re a big enough girl to screw, then clearly you’re old enough to have a drink, right?”
I was rooted to the floor. Unable to form a reply, I shook my head, and Mom responded by slamming her fist down on the table, making the bottles rattle from the impact.
“Just take the fucking bottle already! I’m trying to be nice here!”
Her raised voice sent a jolt of dread through me. I stepped closer to the table and took the bottle of beer, cradled it awkwardly between my hands.
“There. Wasn’t so hard, was it?” Mom said in a congenial voice that was somehow more terrifying than the shouting. “Take a seat, Ronnie. Or do I have to shout to make you do that, too?”
She shifted her body to one side of the couch, and I moved to sit gingerly on the edge of the furthest cushion, ready to bolt at the slightest provocation.
Mom seemed satisfied that I’d done as I was told.. She grabbed her bottle for another drink, beckoning me to do the same. “Take a sip. It’s not gonna kill you.”
Hesitantly, I took the smallest sip I could while she watched me intently. It tasted so gross I couldn’t believe anyone would drink the stuff willingly. Mom burst out laughing at my look of disgust, so I tried to school my expression back to normal, wanting nothing more than to wash the foul taste from my mouth.
Her eyes had a cruel cast to them as she smiled at me and asked, “So, how long has Ashley been molesting you? When did it start?”
I couldn’t help but flinch. Awful as those words were, they sounded so much more perverse coming from her mouth. “It’s not like that…”
“Not like what? I have eyes and ears, Rhonda. You think I can’t tell when my girls are fucking? The walls are thin around here, hon. Frankly, I’ve heard enough of you two and your creepy shit to last me a lifetime.” Her voice shifted into a shrill, mocking tone. “‘Do you, uhhhhhhhh… wanna kiss again, Ash-leee? I’ll always have time for you, Aaash-leeeee. I love you soooooo much!”’
Mom shook her head in disgust. “Like, come on! Seriously? You think you’re actually in a relationship with her? You know your sister’s only messing around with you because she’s a fucking lunatic, right?”
I shrank away from the mockery in her voice; her words laying to rest any doubts about whether she’d actually heard us or not. The way she quoted them back to me made those cherished memories seem silly and childish.
“D-don’t talk about Ashley like that! She’s not a lunatic, and she’s not molesting me! We love each other!”
Mom rolled her eyes at me, then drained what was left of the bottle. “Whatever you say, Ronnie. You didn’t answer my question, though. Ashley’s been eyefucking you for years; when did she finally make a move?”
Why was she so focused on making Ashley sound so horrible? That’s not how it was, at all! “She didn’t! I was the one who started it. I asked her.”
My mom peered curiously at me, as if seeing me in a new light. “Oh! Well, never mind then! I guess I should be having this conversation with Ashley instead, huh?”
She started laughing again, but when I didn’t join in she extended her leg and kicked lightly at me. “Relaaaax, for God’s sake! I’m just fucking with you.” She looked up at the ceiling and sighed. “How’d I end up with two incestuous dykes for daughters, anyway? I don’t even know any queers that might have influenced either of you.” She studied me thoughtfully. “Is that what you are? A queer? Or do you think you’ll go back to normal and start taking dick when you’re older?”
I blushed at her coarse words. “N-no, I’ve only ever liked girls.”
“Well, I guess we’ll find out. But hey, I guess it could be worse. At least neither of you are out there slutting it up with guys. Imagine how the neighbors would react if I had two pregnant kids!”
I shook my head slowly from side to side. “That’s… No, Mom. I-I don’t even think I’m old enough to get pregnant!”
“You’d be surprised! Stuff like that happens sometimes when little girls are raped.” She leaned toward me and whispered conspiratorially, “Good thing Ashley’s a girl, huh?”
“It’s not rape!” I cried out. “We both wanted it! Ashley and me love each other, s-so can you just accept that, please? Things can just go back to normal between us. We won’t bother you, and you don’t need to bother us, okay?”
Mom studied me in silence for several long seconds, then grabbed another bottle. Cracking it open, she drained half its contents in one gulp. “Have another drink, Rhonda. I promise it’s better after the first taste.”
“I-I don’t want anymore, Mom. It’s gross.”
“Just do it, Rhonda. Have a drink with your mother and I’ll consider what you asked.”
I slowly raised the beer to my lips, tipping it back the slightest amount. Mom’s arm shot toward me and shoved the bottle forward, the rim clinking painfully against my front teeth.
She tilted the bottle until my mouth overflowed with the foul liquid, then spurted out of my nose as I began to choke. I wrenched myself out of her reach, coughing and sputtering as the bottle tumbled to the floor and shattered.
As I burst into tears, I realized the whole front of my shirt was soaked. “Why would you do that!?”
Mom’s face was hard as stone, eyeing me like a bug she was planning to squash. “Are you retarded? Why the hell would I ignore you two dykes fucking under my goddamned roof?”
“B-but you said!”
“’B-b-b-but you said!’” Her words turned to mockery once more as she began advancing toward me. “Get a grip, girl. I know Ashley turned you into a little lesbo, but I didn’t realize you’d caught her fucking insanity, too.”
The situation had already spiraled out of control. I needed Ashley! Turning tail, I raced toward the phone in the kitchen, Mom bellowing as she rushed after me. I’d barely taken hold of the receiver when I was roughly shoved to the ground.
Mom ripped the phone line out of the wall, then turned on me in fury. “Who the fuck are you gonna call, huh!? The cops? You think anyone’s gonna care what happens to a sick little freak like you!?”
I couldn’t stop sobbing as I looked up at her, terrified and miserable – but now furious, too. “I’ve had enough of this!” I screamed back. “You’re crazy! You’re the fucking lunatic!”
Pain exploded across the side of my face. I tried to shy away as Mom hovered over me, unleashing blow after blow. I curled up into a ball as she continued to hit me, begging her to stop, please stop!
The blows suddenly ceased as Mom roughly grabbed my wrist to pry my arm away from where it shielded my face. I cried out for her to stop, trying in vain to resist her pull.
A loud bang sounded from across the house, and Mom’s hold on me faltered. Suddenly she was roughly torn away from me. The kitchen seemed to shake as she was slammed against the wall. Confused, nearly delirious with terror, I peered up to see my sister bearing down on our mother.
Ashley looked angrier than I’d ever seen her, hands wrapped around Mom’s throat. “What the fuck did I tell you!?” she snarled. “Don’t you lay a hand on her, bitch! Fucking bitch!”
Mom’s panicked eyes flickered toward me, like she was expecting me to take her side, or tell Ashley there’d been a big misunderstanding and the two of us were just having a harmless little game of rough-and-tumble.
“Don’t look at Rhonda!” Ashley screamed. “Don’t you dare look at her! Look at me! I swear, I’ll choke the fucking life out of you, Kate.”
Mom’s hands scrabbled uselessly against Ashley’s as she tried to pry herself free, her eyes widening as she fought to breathe.
“Ashley, don’t! You’re killing her! Please stop!”
Ashley ignored my cries as she continued throttling Mom. I picked myself up and stumbled over to them, pulling helplessly at my sister’s arms.
Mom’s face was turning an alarming shade of purple, her struggles growing weaker by the second
“Ashley!” I begged. I don’t want you to do this! Stop! Please!”
Ashley seemed to notice me for the first time. She instantly released Mom’s throat as if it had burned her, then staggered away, pulling me with her.
Mom slid to the floor, taking in deep lungfuls of air. Her face had reverted to a deep flush, and I could see the imprint of Ashley’s fingers on her neck. I felt awful about what was happening, but Ashley showed not a hint of remorse.
Mom’s voice was raspy as she finally spoke. “A-Ashley. Y-you… you nearly killed me—”
“Shut up. You’re lucky I didn’t after what I just walked in on.”
Ashley’s grip was firm when she turned me around to face her. Her face softened as she examined me, looking for any serious injuries. “Are you okay?”
There was a dull ache throughout my whole body, the places my mother had struck feeling especially sore. My face hurt most of all, and it was all I could do to nod in reply.
Fresh tears swam at the thought of Ashley seeing me in such a sorry state. She reached up to touch my inflamed cheek, and I flinched away from the stinging pain.
I was so stupid to think I could help. All I wanted to do was work things out with Mom so Ashley didn’t have to worry about me all the time. Instead I just ended up making the situation worse, so my big sister had to rush to the rescue, just like always. Why couldn’t I do anything right?
Ashley held me as I broke down. “I’m sorry,” I kept mumbling over and over. “I’m so sorry.”
“Hey, come on, hon. None of that now, okay?” she told me, her voice sweet and soothing. “You did nothing wrong, this is all her fault.”
She kissed the top of my head, then gently pulled away. “Rhonda, can you do me a big favor and go rest in my room for a minute or two? I promise I’ll be right behind you; I’ve just got some things to sort out with Kate first.”
I began to panic all over again. “A-Ashley, please don’t get mad or, or hit her. I don’t want you getting in any more trouble ‘cause of me. I just want this day to b-be over!”
Ashley did her best to reassure me. “I swear to you, Rhonda. I’m not planning on starting things up again. I should,” she added, giving Mom a scathing look, “but for you, I won’t. I just need to speak to her for a moment. Please, just go lay down. I’ll be there soon.”
Part of me felt like I should be there to hear whatever it was Ashley had to say to Mom, but my need to be away from this whole screwed up situation won out, so I quietly headed towards my sister’s room.
I crawled under the covers and curled into a ball, trying to ignore my aching body and frayed nerves. I was completely burnt out after what seemed like the longest day of my life. After everything that happened that day – the confrontation with Mom at the mall, the sex with Ashley, the explosive violence of Mom’s return, my sister’s enraged response – I just wanted the world to stop for one minute.
I could hear the muffled sound of Ashley’s voice from the kitchen, but I couldn’t make out anything of Mom’s reply. The only word I could make out was morning. I tried to put it all out of my head as I melted into the sheets.
As I breathed in the familiar aroma of lavender and Ashley’s natural scent, the feeling that my brain was about to snap slowly began to recede. The smell always calmed me down when I grew anxious.
It would be only too easy to doze off and hope I’d wake to find that tonight had all been a bad dream, but what was the point in kidding myself? Besides, I wanted to wait for Ashley to make sure she was okay.
I didn’t have to wait too much longer before she opened the door and slipped inside. I heard her move closer until she stood by the side of the bed. I extracted myself from beneath the blanket, the dull throb in my body more acute now that I was no longer pumped with adrenaline.
Ashley sank to her knees in front of me, gently cradling my face in one hand while she pressed a washcloth filled with ice against my cheek. I flinched at both the cold and the sting, but Ashley held it there until it started to feel good against my heated skin.
She had me hold the ice pack while she climbed onto the bed, taking me in her arms.
We lay in silence for a while, until Ashley finally spoke, her voice low and strained. “I was so scared, Rhonda. When I saw the fucked-up way Kate parked the car, I knew she’d been boozing it up. Then when I opened the door, all I could hear was you screaming and crying. I-I couldn’t think, I could barely breathe. The next thing I know, I’m choking the life out of her, a-and you’re begging me to stop.”
Ashley leaned down to murmur in my ear. “I must’ve looked like a complete psycho, but what she was doing to you…” She gave her head a quick shake. “Guess I just lost it. Please don’t be scared of me, Rhonda. I-I don’t think I could take that.”
My nails scrunched into the back of her shirt for purchase as I whispered, “I’m not scared of you! Y-you saved me, Ashley. Mom was so angry. She just wouldn’t stop. I don’t know what would’ve happened if you hadn’t come.”
“I’m so sorry, Rhonda. I never should have left. It was stupid of me. I should have known she’d come back while I was gone.”
I realized Ashley was crying, and it was hard to maintain the tenuous control I had over my own emotions. The side of my face ached horribly as I tried to speak. “Ashley, it was my idea that you go to work, not yours. You didn’t know what was going to happen any more than I did.”
“I did, though! I know exactly what kind of fucking animal she is. She beat the shit out of you, for god’s sake! That’s on me for not thinking things through a little more.”
I tried to protest and tell her it wasn’t her fault but Ashley wasn’t done. “I can smell beer on you. Let me guess, she either dumped a bottle over you, or made you drink one? Or… fuck! She didn’t break it over your head, right? Right?”
Ashley’s voice was full of bile and vitriol, and I had to wonder if Mom had maybe done that very thing to her at some point in the past.
“N-no, she just made me drink some, then pushed the bottle into my mouth when I wouldn’t have any more.”
Ashley made a choked shrieking sound, her voice turning harsher than ever. “I’m going to kill her if it’s the last thing I do!” She made some effort to calm herself, then asked me, “How do you feel now?”
“I’m fine,” I mumbled. “Just sore and tired. Are you okay?”
Her weary laugh eased the tension somewhat. “I’m fine, too. Just angry, and concerned for you. I’m going to be having words with her in the morning, I promise. Whether it means you and me leaving, or her getting some fucking help, something’s got to give around here. We’re not doing this again.”
Ashley sighed, raising her head to peer into my eyes, “Do you think you might be able to get some sleep? I dunno about you but I’m ready for this day to end.”
I nodded in reply, and Ashley slowly got to her feet. “Need to use the bathroom?” she asked, and I shook my head.
Saying she’d be right back, Ashley left the room, leaving the door slightly ajar. I tentatively took the ice pack away from my face, reaching up to wipe moisture from my cheek. It was still sore, but not as bad as earlier.
Ashley’s face was bare of makeup when she returned, the dark circles under her eyes highlighting just how tired she looked. She pulled her shirt off and threw it into the corner of the room.
It was so not the time for these kinds of thoughts, but I couldn’t keep myself from staring at Ashley’s upper body. There was a layer of wiry muscle throughout her tall, lean frame that hinted at her being stronger than she looked. When she turned away to empty her pockets onto the end table, my eyes traced the curve of her back. She shimmied out of her pants, then balled them up, throwing them in the same direction as her shirt.
I followed the path of her legs all the way up to her butt, which was snugly encased in a pair of black panties. The sight had me tingling between my legs.
Ashley reached up to unclasp her matching bra, discarding it with the rest of her clothes. It left a series of faint lines on her skin, which somehow made her small breasts look even more erotic. I wondered how it would feel to trace my fingers along those small indents.
It was all I could do not to groan out loud. Why the hell was I thinking about all of that now? My skin felt hot, and I needed to shed some layers before I combusted. I awkwardly climbed off the bed and began to remove my pajamas.
Ashley sported a small smile as I undressed, but she visibly stiffened as my bare torso came into view. I glanced down at myself to see what she was looking at. There were several dark red marks where my mom had hit me.
Her voice was strained as she spoke. “Turn around, Rhonda.”
I slowly spun in place, and heard Ashley hiss when she saw my back and shoulders. “She’s fucking dead for this.”
Turning back to face her, I hesitantly asked, “I-is it really bad?”
Ashley ran a hand down her face, sighing deeply. “Well, it’s not good, that’s for sure. You’re gonna be sore all over, come the morning. And I guess you haven’t looked in the mirror yet, but you’ve got one hell of a bruise on the side of your face.”
I winced at her assessment. “It’ll heal. Just don’t get violent over this, please? It’s not worth it.”
Ashley’s expression hardened. “After what she did to you? She’s the one who took it this far; fair’s fair at this point, Rhonda.”
“Ashley, don’t!”
My sister fought to regain her composure, closing her eyes for a few heartbeats. “Fine, fine,” she finally muttered. “I’m just gonna talk to her, I promise.”
We climbed into bed together, Ashley spooning me from behind. I could feel her boobs pressing against my back as she wrapped both arms around me. It was comforting to feel her skin against mine as we lay there; I just wished this day had gone better so I could properly enjoy it.
“Do you think things are going to be okay, Ashley?”
Ashley buried her face in my hair, her breath tickling the back of my neck. “They will be, Rhonda. I’ll make sure of it.”
I tried to relax and go to sleep, but the day’s events played over and over in my mind. That and the feeling of Ashley’s bare breasts against my back. It was a long time before I finally dozed off.
On to Chapter Six!
Fabulous story, and unfortunately very true to life, I hope the police take Kate away for child abuse, though her allegations against her daughters could have dire consequences. I’m sure you’ll sort this dilemma out. Hope you had a merry Christmas
Thank you for reading, Mike! Sadly, situations like this are indeed all too common in real life. Some people just shouldn’t be parents!
Merry (belated) Christmas to you, too! I had a quiet, but pleasant evening with my sister that day. I hope you had a good time, yourself!
I sense a lot of self loathing coming from “Mom” – Kate, and the old saying of “Hurt people hurt people” springs to mind. Even after all the cruelty that Kate has inflicted on our precious girls, I still want her to get some healing before this story ends. It’s probably too much to ask, but still… Meanwhile, I’m filled with trepidation over what the morning will bring. I would also add: Rhonda needs to be protected no matter what. She can’t go in like this. I’m really worried about her health beyond this recent abuse. She isn’t well. This is another story on JS where I’m totally invested in the characters. And, unfortunately, I and many others can somewhat relate to all the characters. Great (and challenging) stuff Rosie. And thanks to all at JS for bring this story to us. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Oh, that’s too true! Kate is unhappy with her lot in life, and the sort of misery she carries tends to infect the people around her, too. Only time will tell if someone like her is capable of the sort of self-reflection needed to move past that.
Rhonda is growing up in the sort of environment where mental health issues are exacerbated instead of treated, and they leave lifelong scars on the psyche.
It makes me sad to think about how many of us can relate to this story; I can only hope we’re all either doing better, or eventually able to begin the process of healing from what we’ve been through. Thank you for reading, Erocritique! I hope you like Chapter 6 when it drops!
I feel weirdly ashamed that I came here for erotica. I love this site and it’s content but there is also a raw realism to the stories. Not just this one but many of the tales here feel like a catharsis for the author and I sincerely hope that they feel some emotional relief from having their words exposed in this manner.
I am also grateful for having read this story and agree 100% with Erocritique on the role of Kate, such anger comes from a place of hurt and can only hope that there is some resolution for the mother as well as the children. I await the next installment with considerable trepidation.
Lol, please don’t feel ashamed, Blind Golem! We all wound up here just trying to enjoy the lovely stories!
But it was definitely healing in some ways for me to write this story, especially with how personal the events have been in relation to my own life. The Mom/Kate character was first made using my own mother as sort of a general template, but initially it didn’t go any deeper than that. But the more I wrote, the more I ended up pouring my memories and experiences with her into the story and the characters. And it lowkey became a way for me to work through some of my emotions regarding my mother, and lessen the shadow she cast over my world.
I’m just glad that people seem to be enjoying this so far! I remember I had originally reached out to JetBoy earlier this year to get his thoughts on if Ashley’s Love was even worth reading, and thankfully I was given the green light (With lots of helpful advice to tighten things up)! I hope you continue to enjoy the story, my dear!
I love this story, but it isn’t for the reason you think.
*PT246 takes a big breath and lets it out slowly…*
I can and do understand *exactly* where Rhonda’s headspace is. I was a battered husband. Her weapons of choice were the fat end of pool cues and full wine bottles. Probably because she weighed 115 pounds soaking wet, and I precariously tipped the scales at an upward bound 185. I was much younger then and exercised quite a bit. I had to, I was a Chef in the USAF and a good chef tastes his dishes as he goes along, to correct the seasonings and adjust the balance of ingredients. But the Air Force would not give me a weight waiver because of this. So I needed to exercise. Pretty much every day. This made me quite a bit stronger than she was. Which must have scared her, to the point that she must have felt she needed an equalizer of some sort. She used them. I will not go into the litany of what I suffered from her, suffice it to say I did not go to the hospital because of them. I just thought if I loved her juuust a little bit harder, it would all go away. It didn’t, she had an injury in HS and I did not find out about it until years later. She was ill. this does not excuse what she did, but I have the reason and it wasn’t me. I can live with that.
I hope Rhonda and Ashley find themselves a place they can love each other and find peace and contentment with each other.
Eagerly awaiting Chapter Six!
See Ya!!!!
Oh no, Powertenor246! It breaks my heart to hear that you had to go through all of that with your (Hopefully ex-)partner. I hate how we convince ourselves that the reason we’re hurt is because we’re not loving hard enough, and not that these people are doing something that’s fundamentally inexcusable. It’s good that you’ve found some peace after what you went through, and you understand that you weren’t the reason she was being cruel. I hope you’re doing better!
I’m glad you’re enjoying the story, and it makes me happy to hear you feel a connection to Rhonda (even if I hate 𝘸𝘩𝘺 you feel it). I hope to see you again when the next chapter comes out! Thank you for reading! ❤️
Great writing. Kate’s alcoholism and emotional abuse rings true; sorry if it comes from personal experience. It can take a lifetime to heal from that. My father was an absent and abusive alocholic and my mother was a wilted lily due to her father being a mean drunk. Sending some love to anyone who is unraveling old emotional trauma.
Thank you, both Chuangtzu and the talented Rosey! Yes, I have moved past most of the pain that my now ex-wife put me through, but it was ten years, (yes years), until I could be in conversation with a female human and not cringe when she raised her arms above shoulder level. I am living peacefully on the Eastern Shore of Maryland and am part of a community of folks here. I;m happy for the most part.
Yes, Rosey, I will most definitely be back for all the rest of the chapters of this wonderfully hot story. Perhaps Rhonda will find a young friend in school that both she and her sister will fall in love with and things might progress from there? (Just an idea.)
Looking forward to all the rest of the chapters!!
Powertenor246