Juicy Secrets Forbidden Tales of Lesbian Love

A brief summary (well, it USED to be brief…) of what has transpired thus far. (To get a additional breakdown of the earlier chapters, please see Pages From a Diary Chapter Links )

Eleven-year-old Mallory is a bright but lonely girl with strict fundamentalist Christian parents whose marriage is going through a rough patch. One day, Mal gets acquainted with a girl named Julie, who lives with her father Jason and his girlfriend Lisa. Soon, the girls become fast friends, and before very long, more than friends. Mallory has a difficult time reconciling her emerging sexuality with her faith, but soon finds her desire for Julie and her interest in sex getting the upper hand, especially once she learns to masturbate.

Meanwhile, her parents’ relationship is really starting to founder. By then, Mallory and Julie are beginning to experiment sexually, but don’t really know what they’re doing. Julie’s dad’s girlfriend Lisa finds out about their curiosity and offers advice, then the girls persuade her to undress and join them in bed. Mal and Julie have full-on sex for the first time, then Lisa gets involved. 

Soon thereafter, Mallory and Julie are confronted by a fifteen-year-old girl from their school named Megan, who tells them she recognizes their feelings for each other, admits to being gay herself, and invites them to drop by her place a few days later. Megan only wants to hang out and chat, but Mallory casually takes charge of the situation, and soon the three of them are naked and having sex. In the weeks to come, they will get together again every now and then for more of the same.

Mallory’s mother Sharon is spending more and more nights away from the home, supposedly staying with her own mother. So she isn’t there when Mal’s father Dan collapses and nearly dies from alcohol poisoning. Only Mallory’s quick thinking and immediate response saves his life. Once Dan is taken to the hospital, Mal learns that her mom isn’t really at Grandma’s house, but out with another man.

Not long after her father is released from the hospital, Mallory is taken out on a shopping trip by her mother. During the lengthy drive, Sharon explains her side of the story, treating her daughter more like an adult than she ever has before. Mal finds herself feeling sympathetic… but then she’s startled to catch herself having sexual thoughts about her mother, which leave her feeling flustered and confused. Those thoughts won’t go away, either.

Sharon soon gets a job at a senior center, and is making plans to go back to school. Needless to say, Mal’s father is most unhappy with this development. On the other hand, Mallory is quite pleased for her mom, and takes the opportunity to get in her lap and give her playful, but subtly flirtatious kisses. More then ever, she suspects that her mother is secretly gay.

Mal is gradually becoming more popular at school. One result is that she and Julie are invited to a sleepover with Emma and Cindy, a couple of Julie’s friends. Once the parents are asleep, the girls get into a discussion concerning masturbation, which leads to everyone getting naked and engaging in mutual touching. Emma and Cindy love it, and the four of them get together for more fun a couple of weeks later.

Mallory finds a new student project: playing keyboards in a rock band of high school students supervised by Jason, who has also been teaching his daughter Julie how to do mixing work. Mal is much younger than the other members, but her skills soon win the others over. One of the band members is a sweet hippie girl named Jamie, and Mal is immediately attracted to her.

An ugly scene occurs at the home of Mal’s grandmother, where her mother Sharon is staying until she finds her own place. When Sharon makes a disparaging comment about lesbians, Mal loses her temper in a big way. In her anger, she comes out there and then, venting until her mother breaks down and cries. Mal quickly becomes remorseful, but the damage is done.

A couple of unhappy developments occur. First, Mallory’s parents make it official: they are to divorce. Mal is utterly disgusted with them both. Second, two of Julie’s cousins have vanished without explanation, eleven-year-old twin girls named Anna and Nettie. A search is underway, but without success thus far. Mallory has never met these girls, but she prays as best she can for their safe return.

A few days later, the twins are found and their kidnapper arrested, but not before he murdered Anna. Nettie is still alive, but devastated, and the girls’ parents go completely to pieces, turning on each other in their grief. Obviously, they are unable to take care of Nettie, so after a family discussion in which Mal is asked to participate, Jason, Lisa and Julie decide to bring Nettie into their home for the time being. Mal vows to do everything she can to help Jason’s niece to recover from her emotional trauma.

Mal and Julie pay Jamie a visit. The girls admit to being lovers, then tempt Jamie into masturbating with them. This quickly leads to much more.

Mallory gets to meet Nettie soon after that, when Jason brings her home. Sure enough, she is in bad shape: unable or unwilling to do or say much, often screaming herself awake from nightmares.

Mal’s band is making serious progress, which gets her and Julie a sleepover at Jamie’s place. Needless to say, music isn’t the only item on the agenda that night.

The next day, while practicing her keyboard part on a Black Sabbath cover, Mal puts the album on, only to get a positive response from Nettie, who asks to hear more. It’s the first time she’s shown interest in anything since her twin’s sister’s death. Mal, Julie, Lisa and Jason are is thrilled. Could their tormented guest be on the mend?

In the days that follow, Nettie seems to be emerging from her torpor. In addition to her burgeoning interest in heavy metal, she becomes absorbed by Jason’s medical textbooks.

At band rehearsal, Mal’s and her fellow group members toy with a concept: focus on Eighties pop. At the same rehearsal, they also make plans to perform live, and even manage to work up a cool original song. The entire band is thrilled.

Mallory has a frank discussion with her mother Sharon about sexuality and desire. She admits to listening to her masturbate herself through the wall, then gets Sharon to confess that she has overheard Mallory touching herself as well… and it arouses her. Somehow, Mal persuades Sharon to stay in her room instead, then mother and daughter masturbate together.

The next morning, Sharon is feeling guilty and uneasy, even though she admits to wanting what she and Mallory did the night before. Mal manages to ease her mother’s conscience a bit before they both leave for school.

Mal and her friends run into trouble at school when a lout named Floyd teases Nettie about her sister’s death until she cries. An enraged Julie attacks him, then Mal, Cindy and Emma join in the brawl to keep the much larger Floyd from hurting their friend. Luckily, the principal breaks up the fight, then goes on to suspend Floyd for bullying.

Later at home, Mallory joins Sharon on the couch. They snuggle, then end up grinding their bodies together until they both climax, still in their clothes. This time, mother and daughter share their first passionate kiss.

A concept is discussed and agreed on for the band’s presentation, one that draws on the Eighties film Back to the Future. They continue to make preparations for their upcoming gig.

While visiting her new lesbian friends Katerina and Tracy, Mal’s mom Sharon is stranded there overnight due to snow flurries. Upon returning home, she tells Mallory that her friends both had their first gay sexual experiences as young girls, and thinking about that excites her. This leads to Sharon asking her daughter if she’s had sex. Mal’s reply is yes, she’s quite experienced with girls, but won’t name anyone she’s been with other than Julie. Sharon admits she’s beginning to think of herself as a lesbian, and Mallory picks that moment to come on to her mother. They share a heated kiss, but Sharon isn’t ready to have sex with her daughter just yet. Instead, they strip naked and masturbate together.

Shortly thereafter, Mal and Julie get Megan and Jamie together for a hot foursome, which is a rousing success. A couple of nights later, Sharon tells Mallory she’s decided to leave the church. They share a passionate kiss, but Sharon pulls away and tells her daughter they can’t do anything more just yet, as her period has started.

Mal waits as patiently as she can for several days. Finally, that Saturday, it happens — Mallory and Sharon make love for the first time. 

Only one melancholy note mars Mal’s otherwise wonderful weekend: Nettie nearly makes it through the birthday party Jason, Lisa and the girls have arranged, but she breaks down completely once most of the guests have departed, still mourning her sister.

The next day, Mallory gets a huge surprise when Sharon interrupts her in the midst of practicing guitar parts, intent on sex with her daughter. Every other time, Mal took the lead in their lovemaking; now Sharon is eager to seize the initiative. They engage in a heated fuck. Afterwards, Mallory lets her mom know that Julie wants in on the action between them.

The next day, Julie drops by… then she, Mal and Sharon come together in a very satisfying threesome. By then, Sharon has fully embraced her identity as a lesbian, and admits to a special attraction to young girls. The three of them make plans to hook up on the following week.

And now we rejoin our story, which concludes with this chapter. Thanks for joining us for the ride!

by Rachael Yukey

March 25th, 2007

Sunday afternoons at Home One are always Me Time, because Dad has a habit of doing work right after church, and right now he’s getting his heavy equipment ready to roll out. We’re at the end of March, and if the weather cooperates he might be in the fields within four or five weeks. Not only is there spring tillage and planting to be done, but he didn’t get all of the corn combined before the snow flew last year, so he still has crop to bring in. He’ll probably end up having to hire a couple of people to operate machinery to get it all done.

He said something funny the other day: if this was thirty or forty years ago, I’d be pretty close to getting plunked right into a tractor seat at my age! In the old days, farm kids did everything, the moment they were physically big enough. Nowadays, there’s pretty strict laws regarding those things. You have to be old enough to get a driver’s license before you can operate tractors and combines. I’m just glad my grandpa sold off the dairy herd and switched to cash grain. Otherwise I’d have been doing barn chores by the time I was five or so. No laws against that!

I don’t really have much to talk about this week. We had a little birthday party for Nettie’s dead sister Annamarie after school on Tuesday. It was just Julie’s family and me. Nettie served each of us cake and set a place for Annamarie, too. She set one of the dolls I gave her for her birthday next to the empty plate.

“It’s Anna’s doll now,” she said solemnly. “When I play Monster High, it’s going to be there for Anna.”

I wasn’t quite sure what she meant by that, but I sensed that there’s some healing going on. She hasn’t really talked about her sister until now. I think it’s good that she is.

In other news, I told the band on Thursday PLEASE, let’s not add any more songs that need a second guitar until I can play the three we already have. I can do “I Need You Tonight” really well, but I’m not there yet with “Authority Song.” My chord changes are sluggish, and my rhythm strumming still sounds stiff and awkward. I’m not even going to start working on “Fallen Angel” until I feel good about “Authority Song.” Just like two weeks ago, I now have the whole afternoon ahead of me, and at least now my fingers have toughened up some. Here I go!

April 1st, 2007

I lost my hetero virginity this week, and decided I like boys better than girls. I told Julie we can’t see each other anymore. She begged me not to go, but I have to be true to who I am. I hope to have my first baby before my 16th birthday.

APRIL FOOLS!

Okay, what REALLY happened this week? Well, for one thing, Mom and Dad signed the divorce papers. It’s officially over. I’m sad and relieved all at the same time. No kid wants their parents to get divorced, but hard cold reality: Mom and Dad are both okay when they’re apart. Together, they’re impossible!

Monday was a teacher’s workshop day at school, so I rode to Wadena with Mom and shadowed her classes. It was fun, even though I didn’t understand a word of ANYTHING anyone was saying.

Before the first class, I met Katerina. She’s not too different from how I pictured her: big and butch, with a beautiful smile, a bold laugh and a strong personality. She shook my hand like a grown-up and treated me like one, too, which I really appreciated.

After classes were over, we went to dinner with Katerina and her partner Tracy. Tracy is completely different from Katerina… what you’d call a lipstick lesbian, I guess. She wore a flowing dress, and her long, silky hair was done up in elaborate braids. I couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to watch them having sex.

By the way, Katerina and Tracy set Mom up on a date with one of their lesbian friends! She and a woman named Nadine are going to go out next weekend, when I’m at Dad’s. If she’s going to start dating, I don’t know how long Mom will still be free to hook up with me and Julie. We’ll have to make sure and enjoy it while we can!

At rehearsal this week, I managed to play guitar on “Authority Song” with reasonable competence. I’m now working on “Fallen Angel,” and Jamie’s right… it’s much more difficult. The left-hand shapes are simple enough, but the right hand has a lot more work to do.

We’ve completely nailed down around twenty 80s songs, with a bunch more in progress. We’ll easily have enough before we have to do a full multi-set show.

Oh, yeah – Roger’s dad finished the new backdrop, and it’s beautiful! It’ll give the stage a really nice touch. Everyone in the band is practically bouncing up and down with excitement, looking forward to our first gig.

April 22nd, 2007

Okay, I can see that this diary is starting to run down, like an old watch. This is my first entry in three weeks. I’d like to say it’s because I’ve just been too busy, but that’s not entirely the truth. When I started this I was lonely and conflicted, unsure of who or what I was. Having this diary as a sounding board for my thoughts and feelings was a big part of working through that, even if I didn’t know it at the time.

I’m a different girl now. I’m happier than I’ve ever been, and infinitely more sure of myself. I feel like… I’m not sure how to say it. Like I’m growing into being Mallory, if that makes any sense. I know who and what I am, and I like that person.

So do I need this diary anymore? Maybe not. When I started, it was like I was compelled to write in it. I don’t feel that way now. All the same, there’s a part of me that really doesn’t want to let it go. If there’s something I can’t tell anyone, not even Julie, I can always write it down here.

So… to sum up the past three weeks: Mom has been on several dates with Nadine, who is a friend of Katerina’s. I don’t think they’ve had sex yet, but they seem to be having fun. Mom has hinted to me that when and if she does hook up with Nadine, she’ll have to stop fooling around with me and Julie, at least for the time being. I would have thought I’d be jealous, but I’m fine with it. Mom cheated on Dad because she was unhappy, so it’s good to see her in a better place now.

Megan has a girlfriend now. I haven’t met her; she lives in Wadena. But Megan isn’t hooking up with anyone else for the moment. Once again: good for her. We’ll always be friends.

Last weekend the band met up at a little recording studio owned by one of Jason’s friends in a suburb of the Twin Cities. We recorded the intro tape for our shows, with the little skit about using a Delorean to go back in time so we could hear good music on the radio. We also recorded excerpts from a few songs and created a radio spot. We’ll give it to whoever the owner is for whatever gigs we play, and they can use it if they want to advertise the show. The guy who books the Douglas County Fair has already said he’ll use it if we’ve got it.

It was fun, and we learned a ton about how music is recorded. I always pictured the whole band together in the studio, playing like we do in rehearsal, but what actually happened was they put Katie behind this big, beautiful drum set in an isolation booth, gave her headphones so she could hear the rest of us, and then had us play so she wouldn’t lose her place… but the only thing they actually recorded was the drums! Once they had a ‘take’ they liked, they recorded Roger’s bass, then Jamie’s guitar, then my keys. Vocals were last.

We’re only a month down to the spring concert. Most of the bands are doing four songs each, but we’re doing eight because Jason is short one band. So Jason is setting us up as the headliner, so we go on last. We’ll get to have our backdrop, and Jason is going to let us use our intro tape.

We’ve also picked a setlist. We entirely dumped some of the early songs we learned, because we want to do a mostly eighties show. At first we were planning to do only eighties plus our two originals, but Jason talked us into holding onto “Destruction Preventer.”

“It’s far and away the most technical song on your list,” he explained. “If there’s one thing you’ve learned that demonstrates the musicianship this band is capable of, it’s that one. And at an event like this, you want to show off a bit.”

This show will be well-attended because of all the people who are related to the kids that are in it, so this will give us a chance to show local folks who we are and what we can do. Then maybe they’ll want to catch us when we play the local festivals!

The setlist for the spring concert will be:

Heat of the Moment (Asia)
Authority Song (John Mellencamp)
Ear in the Wall (Us!)
Listen to Your Heart (Roxette)
Working for the Weekend (Loverboy)
The Devil’s Own (Us!)
Under Pressure (Queen)
Destruction Preventer (Sonata Arctica)

Jamie sings lead on the Roxette, Ralph on everything else. We’re jumping straight from “Heat of the Moment” to “Authority Song,” and that’s when I need to get my guitar strapped on. The idea is Jamie will finish her “Heat of the Moment” solo, and the band will sing one more chorus. During the chorus I’ll get a guitar on, and then we’ll wrap up the song with Jamie and me playing the riff together on guitar, side by side. Then we’ll launch into “Authority Song.”

I’m a little nervous about playing guitar in front of an audience for the first time, so I’m going to do some extra practice just to build up my confidence. But still, I’m so excited! This is going to be great. I also have my spring piano recital in just a couple weeks. I’m doing Chopin and Mozart, and am super-pumped for that, too. I’ve learned a couple of very advanced pieces, and am playing them well.

The only other news I can think of is that Nettie seems to be coming out of her shell a little. She’s been to Jamie’s place to listen to records a couple of times with us over the past few weeks. She’s absolutely fascinated with the vinyl, and shares Jamie’s taste in music to a T. That aside, she’s been hanging out with people more during recess at school. The hard times aren’t over for her, and maybe they never will be, but there’s hope. For now, that’s enough

May 20th, 2007

Urrgghhh… I know, it’s been almost a month since I wrote. And what with the spring concert next weekend and my big creative writing project to finish for AL (school lets out in just a few days!!!), I wasn’t sure I’d be writing tonight, except that I have to tell about what happened yesterday evening.

My piano recital was yesterday afternoon. I was one of two advanced students participating, and the other one is a senior in high school. I blazed through both of my pieces without a hitch. Julie, Nettie and Lisa were there, but Jason wasn’t able to make it. They’re doing clinicals now for paramedic school, and he spent all day riding an ambulance in Wadena with his preceptor. That’s what they call the person who does your field training.

Mom and Dad came, too – though not together, of course. In fact, Mom brought her new girlfriend Nadine, who’s really nice. Her personality reminds me a little of Julie, always bubbly and positive. Physically she’s exactly the opposite – short, and a bit chubby.

Dad was sitting a few rows away from them, looking somewhat less than cheerful. Mom finally told him she was gay, and he did NOT take it well. I have to give Dad credit, though: he isn’t trying to get full custody of me or anything crazy like that, and he hasn’t said anything mean about Mom or lectured me on the evils of homosexuality when I’m staying with him at Home One. For one thing, he probably figures I’d take Mom’s side! Still, it seems to me that the divorce has made Dad a little more open minded than he used to be, so that’s a good thing. Especially since I’ll have to come out to him myself one day.

After the recital was over, I went back to Julie’s house. It’s my week at Home One, but Dad is getting run ragged by the fieldwork he has left to do. We’ve had a rainy spring, so he’s running late on the last of the planting. When I was invited for a sleepover, he didn’t even blink.

After supper Lisa went next door to look in on a sick neighbor, and Nettie ducked into her room with one of Jason’s textbooks. Julie and I went upstairs to her room, and I guess we got careless.

Julie was flat on her back, and I was on top of her in a sixty-nine. We were really going at it, too – faces buried between thighs, mouths and tongues hard at work. There was a sudden rap on the door which, as it turns out, we hadn’t latched all the way. It swung open, and we both turned towards it in alarm. Jason was standing in the doorway, jaw slack, fist raised to knock.

I tumbled off of Julie, and we scrabbled frantically for blankets to cover ourselves. “Daddy…” Julie gasped, but seemed lost for anything more to say.

Slowly, Jason’s face settled into the look of a man putting all the pieces together. He lowered his hand and gave a single nod. “You ladies should probably come downstairs and see me. You know… when you have a moment.” He closed the door gently.

Trembling, terrified, unable to speak, Julie and I got into our clothes and made our way down the stairs. Jason was sitting back in his recliner, nursing a drink. He was still wearing his navy blue tactical pants with the ugly gray paramedic student polo.

Just as we reached the bottom of the staircase, Lisa walked in the door. She smiled at us, but the smile faded quickly when she saw our expressions. She looked at Jason, then back at us again. Julie and I halted at the foot of the stairs, unable to move any further.

“What’s going on?” Lisa wanted to know.

“Julie… Mallory… sit down,” said Jason, indicating the love seat. He seemed impossibly calm.

As we made our way across the living room, Lisa hung up her coat and took her own chair.

“The girls left Julie’s bedroom door cracked open, and I just managed to walk in on something… unexpected,” said Jason.

“I… I see,” said Lisa.

Jason nodded slowly. “You knew.”

Lisa met his eyes. “Yes. I knew.”

“Daddy, please don’t be mad,” said Julie in a tear-stricken voice. “Mallory and I are in love. We…”

Jason held up a hand. “When I was twelve, I had a girlfriend about a year younger than me. We didn’t have full-on sex, but we did pretty much everything else. So no, I’m not mad. I haven’t forgotten what it’s like to be your age.”

He took a deep breath. “Looking back, I guess I should have seen it.” He turned to Lisa. “Were you planning on telling me at any point?”

Lisa didn’t look away. “Did you need to know? There’s no harm done. If it was a boy instead of Mallory I would have told you straight away, because there’s the pregnancy concern. But in this case… it’d be like if Julie came to me because she was getting her period. Is that something you’d need or even want to know about?”

Jason nodded. “That’s fair, I suppose.”

Julie shifted. Her cheeks were tracked with tears, but she held her head high. “I’m gay, Dad. And I’m in love with Mallory. Please don’t take her away from me.”

I took her hand, lacing our fingers together. She looked at me and smiled.

“I think I’d be a fool to try,” said Jason. “I’ll be honest… I’m a bit in shock here, and it’s going to take me some time to come to terms with this. But that’s my problem, not yours.”

That’s all that was said on the matter. We had dinner, and then we all watched a movie together. Nettie even came out and watched it with us. Julie and I sat close together, snuggled up like the lovers we are. Actually, now I’m glad Jason caught us, because that’s one more place where we don’t have to hide who we are.

May 27, 2007

Wednesday was the last day of AL. Thursday was the last day of school. Last night was the spring concert. It was held in the school auditorium and holy crow, it was AWESOME!

I’d been told what to expect, but I still was a little surprised how rough around the edges most of the student bands were. From what Jason says, it’s almost impossible to get most kids to do a decent amount of practice at home, and it really does take the entire five months to get them even marginally ready to play four lousy songs. It blows my mind, honestly. I hate embarrassment worse than just about anything, and I can’t imagine showing up for a rehearsal without having learned my parts.

I sat out front for most of the show. Some of the bands were terrible, some were all right, and one was pretty good. I was really impressed by how well Julie mixed them, considering that the only band that got to soundcheck was us. (Headliner’s privilege!) I’ve learned a lot about this stuff over the past few months, and now my ear is sharp enough to know a good sound mix from a bad one. Julie had each band completely dialed in and sounding right by the time their first song was half over. I was impressed!

Just as the last band before us went on, I went backstage to get ready. I was already wearing the fancy bejeweled jeans, and just had to shrug into the purple jacket with the silver sequins and the shoulder wings. I checked my hair in the bathroom mirror, and had to laugh… I looked like a cheesy old music video! I guess that’s the point.

We had a group hug before we went on. “Let’s kick some ass, brothers and sisters,” said Jamie.

As Julie played our intro tape, Katie crept in behind her drum kit while the rest of us stood in the wings. I got behind my keyboard a few seconds after. The revving Delorean engine on the tape faded away, and Jamie walked onto the stage, playing the intro riff for “Heat of the Moment” while still in motion. At the moment where the rest of the band comes in, Jason brought up the lights, and Ralph and Roger stepped in from stage right.

Forty minutes never went by so fast in my life! I felt like we were walking back off of that stage almost as quickly as we went on. The audience seemed to love us, too. I can’t wait to do a complete show.

After the gig, Julie and I had a sleepover at Jamie’s house. We were still brimming over with energy and in the mood for fun, so our clothes were scattered everywhere and we were romping in Jamie’s bed before two minutes had passed.

It was awesome, the perfect ending to an amazing day. I ate Jamie’s pussy until she squirted all over my face, and I came four (FOUR!) times. Jamie only got off twice, but the second time was so intense that she blacked out for a couple of minutes. Julie was the big winner, coming in at five orgasms.

June 24th, 2007

Another month, another diary entry. That seems to be where I’m at these days.

We did our first full show last night, at the Dent Days festival. Dent is a town roughly the same size as ours, about forty miles away. The stage was two flatbed hay wagons placed end-to-end. Jason hooked us up with a PA system, one big enough to kick some ass at an outdoor show.

We did three sixty minute sets with half hour breaks in between, just like a bar band does. Went on at eight, wrapped up at midnight. It was exhausting, but also tons of fun! We have four original songs now, and played those along with forty tunes from the 80s. We also slipped in one of the songs we learned early on, Computer God. Even though it’s not an eighties song and it’s not something mainstream audiences will even recognize, we threw it in just because it’s fun to play. I figure if you’re doing forty popular tunes, you can afford a little self-indulgence.

People loved it. We got compliments on our sound, our performances, our costumes, and our selection of tunes. Roger was right… these are songs people know and love, but most cover bands for whatever reason don’t play them.

So… since I’ve got pen in hand, what else has happened over the last month?

First, my piano recital in May resulted in me being given a last-minute opportunity to enroll in a summer music academy. It meets once a week in St. Cloud, and my parents are taking turns driving me there. We spend a whole day doing VERY intensive music theory and ear training drills, then they give us a load of stuff to work on during the week. It’s a lot to take on during summer vacation, but I’m loving every minute of it.

Julie, Cindy, Emma and I are hanging out a lot. We spend nice days outside, riding our bikes and hanging around the park. If it’s not so nice out, we go to somebody’s house, shut ourselves up in the bedroom, take all our clothes off and get freaky with each other. Okay… sometimes that happens on nice days, too!

Lisa is getting really big around the middle… she’s due at the end of August. Somehow it makes her sexier than ever, which adds a little sizzle when Julie and I fool around with her. There’s a lot of opportunity for that, cause Jason is heavy into clinicals right now. Some take place on the ambulance, others in the hospital.

Nettie is still here. It’s sounding like her parents might not be in a position to take her back for another few months yet. I don’t know the details, but I do know it’s not good. Nettie herself is doing better now, and something that I think is kind of big happened last week.

I was hanging out at Julie’s house, like I often do. Julie and I were playing chess. (We’re finally starting to get the hang of it.) Lisa was knitting a baby blanket, and Nettie was sitting on the couch reading one of Jason’s paramedic books. While all this was going on, Jason came home from one of his clinicals, looking exhausted.

He got himself a drink and was crossing the living room to his recliner, but stopped as he passed the couch. He looked down at the book Nettie held in her hands. “AMLS, huh?”

Nettie looked up at him. “Yeah. It’s pretty cool.”

Jason chuckled. “That’s one of our recommended supplementary books, not one that was required. A lot of it goes beyond what we’re expected to know as entry-level paramedics. What are you reading about?”

“Acid-base derangements.”

Jason raised his eyebrows. “That’s definitely beyond entry-level paramedic. It’s critical care. You actually understand it?”

“Uh-huh. It’s not too hard, if you’ve got arterial blood gasses sorted out.”

This time Jason’s eyebrows disappeared beneath his hairline. “You have ABGs sorted out?”

“Yeah.”

Jason pursed his lips, then settled down next to Nettie on the couch. “Okay, then,” he said. “Walk me through it.”

Their conversation descended into medical gobbledygook that I don’t comprehend at all. I was kind of shocked, to tell the truth. Eleven-year-old Nettie had clearly read ahead of where Jason was at in school, and was now familiar with concepts he hadn’t entirely grasped yet.

Then, abruptly, she changed the subject. “Uncle Jason?”

“Yeah?”

“They took Anna to the hospital in an ambulance. She was alive when they left. But then she died at the hospital. Is that right?” Nettie sounded solemn and sad, but her voice was steady.

“As I understand it, she coded in the ambulance,” said Jason, speaking slowly. “That means her heart stopped beating. They did CPR on the way to the hospital, and it didn’t work. But the official time of death isn’t when your heart stops beating. It’s when they stop trying to save you, and the doctor pronounces you dead. Honey… are you sure you want to talk about this?”

Nettie nodded. “It was our Bronning ambulance people that picked her up. They’re not paramedics, right?”

Jason shook his head. “Bronning has a volunteer BLS service, same as we have here in Dickson. BLS means…”

“I know,” said Nettie. “I’ve read all your books. BLS means basic life support, which means it’s EMTs and not paramedics. But they’d have intercepted with a paramedic on the way to the hospital, yeah?”

“That’s how it works, yes,” said Jason. “For really serious stuff like what happened to your sister, they get an ALS intercept coming. The paramedic meets them on the way and gets in their truck. Then they have advanced interventions for the rest of the trip. I have to think that’s how it happened with Annamarie’s call.”

Nettie nodded, looking down at her hands. Then she met his gaze again. Julie and I had abandoned our chess game, and I could sense Lisa looking on as well.

“Uncle Jason… do you think if there’d been a paramedic there right away, Anna might have lived?”

Jason laid his head against the back of the couch. “Nettie… I don’t know. I know she had internal bleeding, and was in late-stage shock when they picked her up. She might have already been too far gone for anyone to save, but who knows? I’m sure the EMTs there do the best job they can, but their tools are limited. There’s been times running BLS here for Dickson when I’ve come close to losing somebody, and it would have been easy to fix with ALS interventions on board. So, to give you the short answer… it’s possible.”

Nettie nodded. “Uncle Jason, when I grow up, I’m going to be a paramedic. Then maybe I’ll be able to save people like Anna, who are really hurt or sick and need help before they get to the hospital. I’ll bet I can do it.”

Jason smiled and took her hand. “Nettie,” he said, “I know you can. You already know more than I do about some of this. “Now, about bicarbonate, I still don’t get how it…”

Once again, gobbledygook. But as the two of them buried their noses in the book again, Julie and I were grinning ear-to-ear. Lisa was smiling from across the room, wiping a few tears away. Nettie had found a path. We knew she still had a difficult road ahead, but now she had a reason to move forward, a purpose that might help her claw her way back to the land of the living.

August 23rd, 2007

Lisa had her baby! It’s a little girl, and they’re naming her Victoria Rose. It happened three days ago, and they’re coming home from the hospital tomorrow. I’ve been there twice. The baby looks like a plucked chicken, but somehow still manages to be adorable.

Jason and Lisa have decided to get married in the middle of December. Jason will have a few weeks off of school, and Lisa should be fully recovered from her labor. Julie and I are both going to be a part of the wedding. Then, just a couple of months after that, Jason will be ready to test for his paramedic certification.

Mom and Nadine broke up. I think they’re still on good terms, but they’re not a thing anymore. So she’s having regular sex with Julie and I again, which is awesome. In fact, I’ve had a few sleepovers with Julie where we end up spending the night in Mom’s bed.

Mom says now that coming out is one of the best decisions she ever made. She’s dating around a little, still discovering herself as a lesbian. She isn’t ready for a full-time relationship just yet, but open to the idea if she meets Ms. Right. I’m fine with her playing the field for awhile longer, if it means she’s still willing to hook up with me and Julie. When the three of us get together, it’s downright magical.

As for Dad, he actually seems to have got himself a girlfriend! He’s been seeing Agatha Kershaw, the Sunday school teacher at our church. Her husband died a few years ago when his car got t-boned by a drunk driver. She’s a few years older than Dad, but still attractive. I don’t know if they’ve done the deed or not. I sure can’t see myself asking my father about that! Anyway, I’m happy for him. Ms. Kershaw seems like a way better match for Dad than Mom ever was.

I can’t believe school is about to start. I’m going to be busier than ever! I’m enrolled in a music program where I’ll spend the next six years getting ready for post-secondary music education at a real conservatory… maybe even some place like Julliard. Some people think I’m awfully young to be making that kind of long-term commitment, but honestly, that’s what it takes. In order to get into a place like that, you need to already be an exceptional musician.

That aside, 80 Proof is going to be working regularly. We’re booking college gigs, and working towards recording an album. We now have seven original songs, and we haven’t even been working all that hard at writing. We’re talking about taking a couple of weekends over the next month, holing ourselves up in Jamie’s attic bedroom, and just going on an intensive writing binge. That’s where the college gigs will be a big help. When you’re a local band who plays school events, fairgrounds and stuff like that, your audience mostly wants to hear songs they already know. College audiences tend to be more forgiving of original material.

Don’t get me wrong… we had fun doing the eighties pop thing for the festivals and fairs, and plan to do it again next summer. But we want to be more than just a cover band.

I think with all this going on, it might be time to put the diary away for awhile. Maybe even for always. As it is, I’m only managing an entry every month or so, and I’m about to get a lot busier. This entry probably wouldn’t exist, if it wasn’t for yesterday afternoon.

Nettie, Julie, and I were alone at Julie’s house. Jason was at the hospital with Lisa and the baby. Nettie wanted to watch some Disney movie, one Julie and I weren’t interested in seeing. So the two of us adjourned to Julie’s room… and I’ll bet you can’t guess what we did!

Early this summer Lisa bought some new living room furniture, and the old love seat got moved to Julie’s room. We undressed and made incredibly hot love on it (that’s why they call it a love seat, right?), then sat together naked, arms around each other, talking about this and that, occasionally kissing.

After awhile we got to making out again, and pretty soon our hands were roaming to forbidden places. I had just let out a sharp moan of pleasure when there came a rapping on the door. We froze.

“Julie? Mallory?” Nettie’s voice. “Are you guys okay?”

We shared a look, and got giggling. Julie shrugged. “She knows about us anyway.” I nodded in agreement.

“Come in,” said Julie.

Nettie opened the door, then stood there, staring at us. “Oh… wow,” she got out. “Are you guys… you know… doing it?”

Julie smiled. “We sure are!” Turning to me, her mouth found mine, and we shared a hot, hungry kiss.  Nettie’s lips were parted slightly, her eyes wide. I knew that expression well. I imagine a few people have seen that same longing on my face over the past year!

Julie beckoned her closer. “You can come sit with us if you want, Nettie. There’s nothing to be afraid of.”

Licking her bottom lip nervously, Nettie took a step forward. Then another.

***

What happened then?

This time, I think I’ll leave it to the imagination. I learned in Creative Writing class that it’s good to conclude your story with a hint of mystery… and in a way, I’m ending a story right now, aren’t I? Sure, there will be a lot more chapters to come. I’m only twelve! But I’ll be busy living them, experiencing life without the need to put all the details down in print.

Like I said when I first started, I don’t think anyone keeps a diary just for themselves. I think at least in the back of your mind, you’re writing with the expectation that someday, it’s going to be read by someone else. So here’s where I leave you, future reader, at least for now.

Sincerely, Mallory Kalvornek

The End

Afterword:

This story has been a hell of a long time in the telling. Begun years ago, abandoned due to extenuating circumstances, left behind while I wrote “Strange Brew”… and now finally, brought to a conclusion.

First of all, I must thank JetBoy. It was he who encouraged me to return to the story and give it another go, despite my feeling that I’d lost the plot and couldn’t think how to continue. Thanks to him, I looked at it again and figured out how to continue. His exemplary editing, great suggestions, and even some writing contributions, strengthened the work immensely. 

Thanks must also be apportioned to the others who keep Juicy Secrets up and running. We owe it all to you.

And finally, of course, my wonderfully amazing readers! Your comments and encouragement have been an immense joy to read, and provided impetus when the motivation threatened to wane. Even those of you who don’t comment but love the stories anyway. Thank you thank you thank you! We love you all.

Mallory’s story is not over. Some of you may recall the appearance that Mallory, Julie, and the Hanson family made at Nettie’s father’s memorial in “Strange Brew.” The cast of both stories will come together in the “Strange Brew” sequel, which is currently in progress. It’s basically written, but with some significant revisions underway. Once it’s ready, it’ll be unveiled. It’s a trip down memory lane for our beloved Nettie as she’s forced to face her traumatic past, including a completion of the scene I left off on in the final chapter you just read! Stay tuned…